8 Weeks to Optimal Health -- Week 4

Okay...I'm gonna plead guilty on this one, BUT I do have mitigating circumstances. (Ah ha! All those years as a legal secretary paid off, didn't they?)

Week 4 went down the drain a little while back. Last week, I spent a lot of time getting ready for school to begin. We'll be back at the books next week, so look for an update on how that's going soon.

Anyway, I didn't keep up with Google Reader most of that time...or housework...or health.

But the Housewife recently linked to me. So, now I have to get going.

Here's how I did on Week Four:

1) Check on your bed, mattress, and sleeping location. Is [anything] interfering with restful sleep? If so, consider making the changes described.
Okay, I’m trying not to be sarcastic, but this is just funny. Anything interfering? Uh, yeah. It’s called a baby. Changes? Well, none for now. Really, I’ve been sleeping really well lately, except for when Ashlyn wakes up, which is still sometimes 2 times a night. Other times, it’s just once. Billy’s also been helping me out as we trade mornings to get up with her at 6 am.

2) Find out about getting an air filter for your home or bedroom if you live in a polluted area or suffer from ailments that might be worsened by inhaled irritants. I’ve had an air purifier for years now, and I really can tell a difference. Ironically, this week I’d been getting headaches, so I turned it off because I realized that I need to replace the ionizer. I have a call in to my supplier to get one of those ASAP.

3) Eat some more garlic this week, in any form that appeals to you. I'm a fan of fresh garlic, but this week, powdered had to do. I do have some fresh in the fridge, but can you believe I was actually too lazy to use it. Wow! How's that for a spoiled brat? Still, one teaspoon of powder equals a clove of garlic, so we used some of that this week.

4) Replace at least two meals of animal protein with soy protein. Made some yummy TVP tacos. Mmmm-mmmm.

5) Be sure that your multivitamin is providing you with the B-complex group. I haven't used my vitamins for a couple of weeks, and boy! Have I been feeling it. B gives us some much-needed nerve energy. And I've been low on that lately. I'm feeling very worn out, which cause me to go to bed at 7:30 last night.

6) Increase your aerobic walk to 25 minutes, 5 days of the week. Again, I'm claiming that my religion forbids walks in the heat. But it is cooling down some, so hopefully this coming week.

7) Do two days of news fasting this week. I actually feel like I need to watch news more. Someone mentioned something about a bridge collapse somewhere in Minnesota (?), and I had no idea what they were talking about. I have no clue these days about the world around me, so I should probably subscribe to a news feed in Google. Then, I can do a fast from it next week!

8) Continue to practice the breathing exercises you have learned. This week you will add a powerful Relaxing Breath that will improve both mental and physical health. I did this stuff with my daughter a bit this week. She can really get herself worked up sometimes, so I thought it would be good to give her some skills to utilize when she gets overly anxious or nervous. It went well. We used an article from About.com that helps bring it to a kids' level.

Well, there we are! Back at it. See ya next week for Week Five.

Happy Birthday, Eve-Marie!

Seven years ago, my older daughter looked like this:


Here's what she looks like these days:


Happy Birthday, Chica!

Bible Journey > Galatians 5:1-12 > Circumcision or Castration?

Freedom is an amazing gift that God gave when Jesus died for us.

But for some reason, it's so freakin' hard to accept. The longer I walk this journey, the more I love my freedom. The more I appreciate the idea of living in relationship with God instead of in religion toward Him.

But on occasion, I'm still tempted to want to follow the rules.

I'm not alone.

In Galatians 5, Paul reminds his brothers that circumcision is no longer necessary. Rather, it is a harmful thing for a new convert to the Dao of Jesus to participate in.

But no matter what Paul preached, he always had people twisting his words. And this point is no different. Some people were claiming that Paul still preached the benefits of circumcision.

His response to such people?

Go castrate yourself.

Letting You Do It Instead

Today I went to the introductory session of the Women's Leadership Institute at my church. I'm excited to the rest of the classes I'll be able to attend (which will be affected by how quickly Billy gets a job).

While giving just a brief overview of the courses, Pat (our Women's Ministry Director) reminded us that we all have unique places in God's kingdom work. And she emphatically encouraged some of us by saying...

If you have small kids at home, that's where your ministry lies. Someone else can do the greeting. Someone else can do anything around the church. No one else can raise those children.

So, I'm encouraged, especially in light of my recent guilt over not serving more. For now, I'm glad to be the one who teaches my children and who raises up new followers of Christ. Soon enough, my baby will be toddling around, and we can go serve together.

But for now, I'll let you do it.

The Oh, So Precious Baby

8 Weeks to Optimal Health -- Week 3

Here we are again. Is this boring for anyone else?

1. Find out where to buy organic produce. Make a commitment to buy only organic.
Hey, Dr. Weil...how bout if you make a commitment to pay for my overpriced organic produce? It's available everywhere. It's just also twice as much as the chemical laden variety.

2. If you use an electric blanket, stop. Remove electric clock radios from the immediate vicinity of your bed. Buy a pair of UV-protective sunglasses if you don't have any.
Okay, this is getting increasingly hard to follow since I don't have the book. Why do I need to remove the clock from beside my bed??? I mean, while I'm at it, should I duck every time the microwave is turned on?

3. Make a conscious effort to eat an extra serving of fruits and vegetables with at least one meal this week.
I have definitely been doing this. I even ate *gasp* a salad!

4. Eat fish at least twice this week.
I made some super tasty tuna pitas this week. I ate that same thing for 2 meals.

5. Replace at least on serving of meat with a soy food of your choice.
I didn't know what this meant. Does he mean "meat" as in animal muscle? Or "meat" as in beef, pork, deer, and not poultry? Cause sometimes people don't classify poultry as "meat." Regardless, we didn't eat any "hard-core meat" this week, so I didn't substitute any soy. But when a recipe calls for ground beef, I use TVP. It's a soy product, and oh so good!

6. He introduced the benefits of vitamin E and selenium.
Uh, okay.

7. Start stretching.
Billy and I have been doing the Slim and Limber 15-minute video from Slim in 6 Beach Body series. (No, I don't own the whole series. I'm pretty sure I'd be embarrassed if I did.) We've both seen noticeable improvement in our flexibility, and it's a nice relaxing thing for before bed.

8. Add "Letting Yourself Be Breathed" to your breathwork.
Again, I don't have Weil's book, but I was able to find a description of this online, and frankly, this dude's weird. I mean, if the whole phobia of electronics wasn't enough, this one really takes the cake. He tells you here to lie on your back and let the universe breathe into you. Uh, no thanks. I think I'll breathe for myself.

9. Abstain from news at again one day this week.
Check.

10. Buy more flowers. Find out how to grow some of your own food.
Didn't buy flowers. I need to bring some in from outside before they all die, though.
As for the food...am I just supposed to find out? Cause I already know how, I just haven't yet set out to do it.

Alright...on to week four.

Love Song for Billy

Last week, Billy posted a Love Song video on his site, so I had to respond in turn. This is a song that I started writing in order to express how happy I was being married to him. It ended up being an apology after a fight. It also happens to be based on 1 Peter 4:8.



the lyrics...

Love covers over us,
Erases the sin,
Eliminates our weaknesses,
Removes from us the pain.
And this love is divine,
But I feel it in your touch.
And when you're close, I believe in God.

Love covers over us,
When we've given up
When we've failed to know what do to,
It's still the only Truth.
And this love is beyond any feeling I have found.
And it keeps me here when I'd rather go.

So, I'm sorry
When my words...
When everything I am is nothing that you deserve.
And I'm sorry
I forget about your love.

For your love is divine,
And I cannot measure up.
But you stay with me,
And I believe.

World's Easiest Cookies

I hate baking. But I have found a recipe for cookies that are not only addictive, but also very simple:

Cake Mix Cookies

1 box cake mix -- any flavor
2 eggs
1/2 c. oil
1/2 cup add-ins (chocolate chips, nuts, sprinkles, whatever) --optional

Mix ingredients and bake for 10 minutes at 350.

The end.

Bible Journey > Colossians 3:10

As I slowly plod through my studies, every so often a verse sticks out and compels me to slow down more and really contemplate (and inevitably thanks God for it). The verse that I've been meditating on a lot this week is Colossians 3:10.

I find that as I listen to sermons, read books, or simply have "church" discussions with Billy, I get down on myself more and more that I'm not living up to the standards of who I should be and what I should be doing as a Christian. Now, I'm not talking about works righteousness. I know that I'm righteous through Christ, but I'm talking about the good works that I was created for.

I am currently reading This Beautiful Mess by Rick McKinley, and so many of his words resonate with me. But so many of his ideas only contribute to the guilt that I feel for the amount of money we spend on convenience...the internet, the air conditioning, all the comforts that we take for granted. We spend enough money on our electricity that every month we could buy a goat for a family in India to be able to raise and milk and gain income from.

I'm so far from what I think Christianity lived out is that I often read things like McKinley's book, and rather than feeling inspired, I feel guilty. Why don't I do these things? Why do I talk about service, but use my 6-month-old as an excuse for why I never leave my house?

But Colossians 3:10 was encouraging for me. It reminds me that my newly created self is still in the process of being renewed. That was a comforting thought. The greek word for renewed is in the present participle form, and also importantly in the passive voice. Now what all that grammar lingo (which I absolutely ADORE by the way) means that GOD is at work, right now, in me. And though I have yet to be fully Kingdom-focused, He is constantly renewing me. So, while I'm not yet where I will eventually be, I am on the path, and this faith thing? It isn't a destination.

8 Weeks to Optimal Health -- Week 2

Today marks the end of my 2nd week for this 8-week program by Dr. Weil. I had a little less commitment to it than I did the first week. In fact, I don't even know all the things I was supposed to do, except for eat fish. This is mainly due to the fact that our library doesn't carry his book, so I'm relying on the Housewife to be my guide. So, as I read her posts, I'm tagging along, and basically it's hard for me to get online much when the kiddos are taking my attention. Darn kids. (That was not serious...I love my children like crazy, and I'm super blessed to be able to stay at home with them.)

So, for week three, I'll print out her post so I can follow along better, but for now, here's my progress...

1) Again, eat fish at least once this week and broccoli twice. I did the whole salmon thing again. Tried some Salmon Cakes, and they were pretty good in the taste category. Unfortunately, the recipe didn't have enough moisture, so even after I added an extra 2 Tbsp. of mayo (I'm sure that's super healthy), they were still dry. But once I doused them in ranch dressing, they weren't half bad.

Broccoli is easy. We love it around here.

2) Try to increase your consumption of whole grains. Choose whole grain breads or cereals. Does Frosted Mini-Wheats count?

3) Go to a natural-food store and look through the frozen and refrigerated sections to familiarize yourself with the many different products made from soybeans. Select one to try. No thanks. I did the soy stuff in college and never could get a taste for it. Plus any frozen food from a natural store is beyond obnoxious in the price category.

4) Buy some Japanese or Chinese green tea and try it. If you drink coffee or black tea, try to substitute green tea for some or all of your usual beverages. I've been told not to drink teas while breastfeeding. Just in case weirdo herbs give my baby retarded development. So, I stuck with my coffee, but I do use an all natural sweetener called Stevia.


5) Find out where your drinking water comes from and what impurities it might contain. Stop drinking chlorinated water. Get information about a home water-purifying system. In the meantime, drink bottled water. Our water is gross. It's contaminated with all kindsa crap and calcium. So, we have a water softener and we run tap water through old, overused pitcher filters that probably no longer work. I need to change those.

For the record, I do not agree with bottled water. Sure, I like the idea of the cleanliness of the H2O, but the excess plastic waste is not so appealing. I've gone beyond my allotment of plastic usage with baby food containers, so I cannot justify buying bottled water.

6) Start taking one capsule a day of mixed carotenes with breakfast. I ran out of vitamins this week, and have yet to get some more from my dealer.

7) Increase your daily walk to 15 minutes. Daily walks in 95 degree weather do not agree with me. Again, I spent an hour walking around the grocery store, and it also took forever to walk around the lake where Billy got baptized this weekend, so that was my exercise.

8) Visit a park or some other favorite place in nature. Spend as much time as you can there, doing nothing in particular, just feeling the energy of the place. I wish I had read this advice before the week started, cause I would've loved to make this part of my week.

9) Try a one-day "news fast." Do not read, watch, or listen to any new for a day. This is my lifestyle. I probably need to watch news more.

10) Continue with Breath Observation for five minutes a day. Then, for one minute a day, try to experience the breath cycle, beginning with exhalation and ending with inhalation. nope...I have been focusing on my breath as Billy and I prepare for leading youth in worship tonight.

So, yeah...the inner slacker has come to the forefront. I'm hoping to be a little better at this in the coming week. We shall see.

Book Review: Listening to the Beliefs of the Emerging Church

I just recently finished a great book called Listening to the Beliefs of Emerging Churches.

There was a ton of great information in the book, but it was also the format that was just as intriguing as the beliefs that were discussed. One of the big deals of the emerging church in the post-modern world is to have a continuing conversation about God. Rob Bell talks about this in Velvet Elvis, and the idea is manifested in the pages of Listening to the Beliefs.

Each contributor has a chapter to discuss his or her beliefs on God, and then each other contributor responds. This is about as close to a conversation as you can get in print, although I imagine this one will continue at conferences such as Emergence 2007, where 4 of the 5 authors will be featured along with a couple of other names in the emerging church leadership.

Another thing that I liked about the format was that each contributor wrote the chapter in his or her own style without much direction. At times, it seemed like some of them didn't get the memo about what the chapter was supposed to be about (which was apparently their beliefs on the Trinity, the atonement, and the Scripture). If a reader approaches the book with a need to come away with solid understanding of all the beliefs, then it may prove to be an annoying read. But the reason I liked this was that it really gave a feel for the individual's personality and highlighted the diversity among emerging church leaders. Mark Driscoll wrote his chapter as a well-structured argumentation. Dan Kimball wove his beliefs into the story of his own spiritual journey, and Karen Ward's chapter was patterned more like a myspace blog than a book chapter. I found each of them to be captivating and compelling.

The content in each chapter was just as diverse as the styles in which they were written. One of the warnings against the emerging church (and a warning that 3 of the 5 authors [Driscoll, John Burke, and Kimball] themselves bring up) is that as it moves with cultural relevance, it must not water down the truth of God in exchange for a post-modern pluralistic social gospel. I felt like Driscoll, Burke, and Kimball were all pretty solid. The exception to that being that Burke believes in an old Earth. Doug Pagitt was probably where my questioning on sound doctrine came in. It's hard to nail down exactly what struck me as off because sound bites from his chapter all sound okay. It was more of a feel from both his chapter and his responses to others' chapters that caused me to think that he was a bit too open-minded for my taste. He seemed to approach theology from the starting point of experience, instead of starting at the Truth we know and integrating our experience into it to find a more complete picture. To finish the discussion, Karen Ward and her community wrote a great chapter that makes me want to re-form my church to emulate hers. I felt like she kind of suggested that they do church the right way, so that kind of attitude wasn't as cool as I'd like. But her main response to others' chapters was to emphasize the unity, and that was cool.

This information was all framed by an introduction and conclusion by Robert Webber. It was nice to have his information there because it really put the currently emerging church into perspective over the course of 2000 years, and especially in terms of the modern church that we're moving away from. He explained why the modern church grew into its place, which was helpful information for those who are disenchanted with it to hear about. To know why something happened in the first place can help us to understand more and condemn less. After reading his intro, I felt like I could better appreciate some of the people and methods that have been at the forefront of the recent church. Do changes still need to be made? Yes. Our culture continues to change, and our church is a living organism that will need to change. But at least we can understand the purpose that modernism and the church in the modern context served, and we can realize that culture is a progression, and we would not have the same ideas now about where the church should go if we hadn't seen it be where it was.

This book is a great tool to learn about both of those issues.

8 Weeks to Optimal Health

So, yesterday, I went to our fancy-schmancy library that cost WAY TOO MUCH money to build, and not nearly enough money to stock. I went in search of the book to change my life --Dr. Weil's 8 Weeks to Optimal Health. Alas, they had it not.

I was looking for it because my friend over at Musing of a Housewife was talking about her quest for better health and the new program she was trying from this book. I told her I'd tag along. I thought it was lame for me just to read her posts and copy without the benefit of the good doctor's explanation, but as our library is crap, that's just what I'll do.

So, week's one's assignments, according to the Housewife:

Clean out cabinets from all foods with artificial sweetener and artificial coloring.

I was happy to find that I didn't actually have that much in my cupboards to begin with. So, I cleared out a few canned items that I probably wouldn't have used anyway, since they've been sitting there for about a year. These are gross things like Vienna Sausage that I got from the church food pantry because they were about to expire. That was last summer. I also had some things like those bright yellow peppers. Talk about artificial coloring. I was going to take them all to a food pantry, but I've always thought it was pretty mean to take things to a food pantry that I wouldn't eat myself. So, I just threw this junk all away. I did NOT throw away my Ritz Bitz cheese sandwiches or the last package of fruit snacks. I ate these, as a last rite.


Use olive oil.
I bought some extra light flavor because I don't actually like olive oil. Plus, I can use it in Ashlyn's formula when I need to give her a bottle. It's really good for her.

Eat broccoli and salmon.
I hate salmon. My skin actually crawls at the thought of eating any fish but fishsticks. Still, I was willing to try it with a cranberry compote. Especially for the sake of not wussing out in my post here. I went ahead and got the broccoli in too. It actually turned out to be okay. Not great, but okay. The rice with cranberries mixed in, though, was amazing.

Use Dr. Weil's recommended supplements.
I thought this was cool. He has a Vitamin Advisor right on his site. Unfortunately, he wouldn't give me recommendations because I'm breast feeding. So, I'm just sticking to my normal Shaklee supplementation.

Walk 10-15 minutes 5 times a week. I went grocery shopping yesterday for an hour. And tonight I made a point of taking a walk around the 'hood with Ashlyn (I should get extra pointsa for pushing around 15 pounds, I think) while Billy and Eve rode bikes.

Take 5 minutes a day to breathe and meditate.
This is something that is nice for me. Housewife said that it bores her, but I could probably spend all day doing nothing but breathing. Today, it was especially nice to lay down to nurse Ashlyn and get some quiet prayer time in.


Get some live flowers for your home.
I will do this...really. I have a whole rose garden outside. It is actually a source of stress, because I never have time to weed it. But TOMORROW I will go cut some pretty flowers for my house. I'll even post about it just to be accountable.

From the Mouth of Babes

The other day, I took the girls to Lic's Ice Cream Shop because Eve had won a coupon for a free kiddie cup.

While we were there a song came on the radio and Eve sang along. I asked her how she knew it and she said it was on the radio in her room.

So, I asked if she's heard it a lot.

Her response: Yeah! (read: duh!) They always play the same songs!

True, true...very true.

HOT!

Is it wrong to get turned on in church?

Last night was Billy's first time leading worship at CFC. Fortunately, we got a chance to see him before the service and he could ask me to sit in a different spot than we normally do. This way, we could see each other while he was on stage, which was nice because in my selfishness, I really want to be able to worship with him in our service. And even though I was super happy that he has found the time, energy and passion to join the worship team, I didn't really want to miss out on having that joint time together. So, this way, we worshiped together, even though we were apart.

I have to say, though, that while I was worshiping God, I was also thinking about how totally HOT! my husband is. Made me really super proud to see that shiny band around his finger.

I think that other girls will be seeing him right about now (he's at church for the Sunday morning services) and be disappointed when they see that ring. And I'll be the girl they're all jealous of cause I get to hold his hand walking down the hallway...

And I get to go home with him at the end of the service.

Praise the Sweet Lord Jesus

Ashlyn's had a hard time with the whole sleeping thing ever since the Michigan disaster.

Tonight, I thought, was bound to be the same. After being an incredibly agreeable girl all evening, though, Ashlyn laid happily on Eve's bed as I tucked the latter in. I then carried Ashlyn to her room, swaddled her and proceeded to try nursing. No cooperation. So, I gave up on that, and tried rocking with her pacifier. No thank you, she argued.

So, I said, "Oh, yeah? Then you can just be by yourself for a while." I laid her down in her crib, and her an hour later haven't heard a peep from her.

I'm going to bed!

He-e-e-e-e-re We Go....

Every time I've been on a roller coaster, there's always been someone that hears the click of the mechanism unlocking the cars from the start gate and feels the need to announce to those around: "Heeeeeeeeeeere we go!" My mom is that person. It's quite endearing. So much so that I've become one of those people, too, out of habit.

There's an amusement park in Pennsylvania called Kennywood. It's a small, local-type deal outside of Pittsburgh. My family went to it when I was around 5th or 6th grade, as we were visiting the town where my mom grew up.

Kennywood has an ancient wooden rollercoaster that's built into the side of a huge hill. It was jittery as the train rushed over it, and honestly, it was a bit scary, but in that adrenaline-pumping, I-can't-get-enough sort of way. Ultimately, it was exciting.

But the thing that I remember most about that particular coaster was that the Thunderbolt was where I realized my mom was "that person."

But this isn't about my mom being "that person." It's really about the emotional and spiritual roller coasters that we ride throughout our lives. I'll be the first to say I'm on one now. With a 6 month old baby, I never know when sleep will elude me or when I'll be well-rested. Likewise, I never know if I'll be happy to be a mom or depressed to the point of drastic measures. And unfortunately, where my mood goes, my faith follows.

And I was wondering today why I'm scared of those roller coasters. This isn't the excited kind of scared. This is the fear-ridden kind. Why am I afraid to be sad? Why am I afraid to be hurt? Why am I afraid to be passionate?

When I married Billy, I vowed to him before God and our witnesses that I would join him in the adventure that God ordained for us. That adventure will include a coaster, and I don't want to be too afraid to enjoy it.

Why can I say, "Heeeeeeeeeeere we go" on the man-made ride, but not on the adventure that God is guiding me in? Why are amusement parks' rides exciting, but life's roller coasters paralyzing?

Bible Journey > Paul's Passion

I went back to Romans 19 today. This Bible study this is the place where my token ADD rears its head.

I was reading of the riot in Ephesus that the idol makers started. I found it interesting that they were mad first that their trade would fail if Christianity overtook Artemis-worship, and then...oh, yeah...Artemis will be degraded. It was more their impending loss of work than their belief in the worship that they were concerned about. How many parallels can we make on that today?

But what really stuck out to me was a couple verses into the account where it talks about Gauis and Aristarchus, two of Paul's companions. My Bible had a couple of cross-references notes and I have a growing fascination regarding who traveled with Paul when, so I checked into some other verses where these men are named.

Long story medium length...it struck me that everywhere Paul went, he seemed to drop someone off and pick someone else up. This speaks strongly of the passion for Christ that is in him and his disciples.

I'm on an upward climb, I think, back toward passion for God. It's been a while since I've felt like Christ's love compelled me the way it did for Paul and his friends. I think one of the things that's exciting to me is to see how community affects this passion.

There are a couple of women in my life right now that have played a big role in getting this momentum going again. One of the is Kara, and the other is Elaine. I am beyond grateful and forever indebted to both of them for their encouragement and love and, above all, their understanding.

It makes me excited to press on and find out some day...who will my passion encourage?

Bible Journey > Colossians 2:2

When I'm not studying for my adventure with Kara, I've been looking at confidence in God. As part of that, my friend Elaine suggested that I read Colossians 3 often. But I wanted to do so in context, so I started at the beginning of the book. This was a month ago.

Tonight, I started at the end of chapter 1 and looked into chapter 2 just a bit.

I stopped when I got to verse 2. Yeah...I'm truckin along.

It was encouraging to read this verse and helped me to gain a little passion back for serving others. After New Life, I felt like people at church weren't worth it. Elaine is helping me to learn that most people will not be interested in truly knowing God, but there will always be a faithful few that want to learn and grow and serve.

So, for them, I cling to Colossians 2:2, "My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have all the riches of assured understanding and have the knowledge of God’s mystery, that is, Christ himself"

The Worst Weekend in the World

world record for number of door slams in a half hour...
allergic reactions...
people who cuss at their kids telling me what's wrong with mine...
alcohol emanating from pores...
nausea...
non-stop noise...

All I can say is I'm glad it's almost over.

Bible Journey > Acts 18-19 > The Dao of Jesus

As background for studying Ephesians, Kara and I started in Acts 18, when Paul leaves Corinth to set sail for Jerusalem. Apparently, the boat needed to make multiple stops, which makes sense, and one of those was Ephesus. Here Paul spoke for a couple of weeks, but promptly left to finish fulfilling his vow.

This vow is not completely described, but it was most likely a vow of consecration to God, as outlined in Numbers 6. This is an optional act of devotion that Jewish men and women are able to do, but one of the parts of it is to not cut hair until after the vow is over. The hair is then to be cut at the end of the time and taken to Jerusalem as a burnt offering. And so, this is where Paul was bound.

But he returned to Ephesus and remained there for about 3 years, which was longer than any other one spot in his missionary journeys. In this time, churches were planted all over Asia, which meant that he was sending others out and of course, those coming into Ephesus were returning to their homes to spread the Gospel.

By the middle of chapter 19, we're seeing the spiritual battle between the magicians in Ephesus and the followers of the Way. Because the Spirit of God was so powerful, many magicians revealed their secrets and burned millions of dollars worth of witchcraft paraphernalia. Pretty amazing things.

But one of the things that we loved the most was that Christians were called Followers of the Way. I guess we liked this cause it sounded cool, but as we discussed other culture-related issues (Kara and I can never quite stay on task, and that's what makes our times so much fun!), we talked about the idea of "redeeming" the things of this world for God. That said, it was our newest idea to proclaim ourselve Daoist (a.k.a. Taoist, Follower of the Way). It's a lot more acceptable to be part of an Eastern religion these days, so calling ourselves Daoist reminds us that Christianity, too, is an Eastern religion, that has been taken over by Westerners.

Sure...we're heading over to the far east in our terminology, but that's just a cultural thing, right? People in America today are more tolerant of Buddhists than anything else, so we figure being Daoists will gain us a better audience to share our faith. Ohhh....so sneaky.

Bible Journey > The Concept

So, everyone knows how cool Billy is, and when he gets on a kick, I always want to emulate him. So, on his blog, he's started posting about his Journey through the Bible, and the insights he's gaining as he goes. He'll be writing about each book he finishes, or perhaps more often, I don't really know. You should find some good stuff there.

I decided to try this same thing, but there's a difference for me. As he's going for an overarching view of the story the Bible tells, I'm going for an in-depth study that I haven't really done yet. I'm starting in Acts 18-20 because my friend Kara and I are looking at that together as a preparation for reading Ephesians.

Anyway, this is the concept... as I learn, I'll share. I'll start soon, sometime when I'm not holding this ever-fussing baby.

Too funny to keep to myself

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
- Paula Poundstone

A Few Good Reasons to Hate the 4th

In the past several years, I've become somewhat apathetic about politics on a day-to-day basis. I don't find myself very loyal to the American way of life. But something in me stirs around this time of year, and when I see posts comparing America to Babylon and and living here to exile, well, that makes me upset. I'm not completely sure why, but I guess I feel like being in exile on earth makes sense, but limiting that to calling America "Babylon"? Well, the problems with America are problems with humanity, not just with Americans.

Anyway, today, I come to complain about the day, too. Actually, the day was great. I donned my "America Rocks" shirt, and entered the family room to find Billy faithfully practicing with his new mixing software. After finishing finishing up some school with Eve-Marie (yes, I'm an evil dictactor. Freedom is fine for America, but not my home. Mwaaahaahaa), the girls and I headed over to my parents' house. Billy joined us later.

It was after returning to our humble abode that it started. The Fireworks. Now...I love fireworks. Well, actually, I think their kinda dumb EXCEPT for when you're celebrating your country's independence, so on the 4th I love them. But I digress.

So, the fireworks are going full force right around the kiddos bedtime (did I mention that the explosions had kept me up till midnight on the 3rd when a few eager neighbors just couldn't hold off another day?), so it was unnerving when Ashlyn just couldn't get to sleep for anything. Billy and I took turns swaddling her and rocking her, but nothing. The upside of this was that we also alternated creating drums loops on the computer. Finally, Billy had the idea of bringing in a CD player to drown out the noise. Thank God for Jack Johnson.

So. all this time I was trying to not begrudge my neighbors their celebration. I wasn't really mad at them, I was just frustrated with Ashlyn and feeling rather sorry for her. But when the fireworks continue despite sheets of rain and end up waking the sleeping beauty back up at 2:00 in the morning...c'mon people.

After I got her back to sleep in the complete dark (oh, yes...the power had gone out sometime between 10:00 and 2:00), I just couldn't get MYSELF back to sleep. Somehow, I've become addicted to my air conditioning and ceiling fan for ensuring a comfortable sleeping climate. So, in the heat of my bedroom, I lay awake for a while till the power came back on. Then, I reset clocks so Billy could get up in the morning for work.

Grrrrr....I hope I get some sleep tonight.

Tackle It Tuesday

This was our garage a few days ago. It's been like that, really, since Billy moved in. We've tried to get it straightened up a time or two, but there's just no where in the house to put his things, so our two car garage was being used for ONE car...and a whole bunch of crap.

That is until "Tackle it Tuesday" came along. Now, I'm not one to really fall for gimmicks, but this time, I was a sucker. I figured that my overwhelming household chaos could be eliminated one Tuesday at a time, so here's the newest plan: one day a week, we'll be tackling another section of our house until we're happy with the organization...or until we lose interest, whichever comes first. On Tuesdays, you can come to my blog here see how nice everything's looking.

Anyway, the garage was our first project because organizing the house includes actually finding places for things. The garage had plenty of space, just a bunch of junk disorganized in it. I guessed that this would be the quickest gratification project we have.

So, on Saturday, we were set to take Sunday afternoon to tackle the garage. Only problem was that I had some kind of crazy bad sleep or something, and all I could do Sunday was get dizzy every time I stood up. So, after church, I laid down, and I woke to find this...


There's even enough room for hula-hooping.


Thanks, Billy! I love you!

Conversation in the Car

I groan as we drive by some people doing yardwork.

Eve (looking out the window)says in shocked curiosity: What is that woman wearing while she sweeps.

Me (unhappy to report the news): A bathing suit.

Eve: Oh my gosh! Why is she wearing THAT?

Me: Good question.

Seriously, folks...who ever thought it was a good idea to wear your bathing suit to do yard work in your front yard when you live on the main thoroughfare of a neighborhood? Seriously... especially when your leg fat hangs out of it. I have KIDS IN THE CAR, for pete's sake!

Beat That

Indie Personality Test Results

60% Indie Scoring highly suggests you are likely to be very liberal, independent minded, self identify as an outsider, shun materialism and popular culture, and have an aversion to organized religion. While high scorers are more intellectual than average, they are probably more artistically astute than intellectually avante guard (i.e. they are more likely to know of new interesting new bands/artists/writers than the best way to extract energy from a hydrogen atom). Low scorers, will generally tend towards the opposite of the above. They will tend to be more materialistic, conservative, corporate friendly, social and are more likely to be religious.

How indie are you?

How To...

I think randomness is one of the best things ever invented, and on that note, I give you this randomness. Be sure to click on "random article" for the full effect.

Eating for Less than Two

I'm happy to report that Ashlyn is now among the solid food eaters. This is super good news because in theory it will fill her up more than the breast milk does. The last few weeks she's been pretty fussy, and I just came to the genius conclusion last night that she is probably ready for solids. I thought I would wait until after Amanda's wedding to start these, as it could be more difficult to do this while out of town in the first week of starting it, but today, I just decided I had to do it, and it was quite a success. Rice cereal is a big hit here at the Chia house.

Don't Take My Cloak on a Winter Day

So, today, my mood is.... eh.

Nothing's particularly wrong. (Although frustration abounds in the whiny baby arena. I don't care what Mr. Doctor says...we're starting solids, and that's that!) But I'm in a little bit of a mood.

I was reading in Proverbs the other day, and I came across a verse that I treasure. 25:20 says, "Like one who takes away a cloak on a cold day...is the man who sings songs to a heavy heart."

I concur.

You ever come across those people who won't let anyone else be in a somber mood? (Or maybe you are one of those people...and if so STOP IT!) It's frustrating. It's like...here I am, unhappy about whatever I'm unhappy about. And instead of weeping with me, they insist on telling me to cheer up, to realize that everything's fine.

This isn't what the Bible says to do. The Bible doesn't say to whip out Romans 8:28 at the first sign of sorrow. The Bible tells us to bear each other's burdens, not to negate them. I have to say that everyone knocks Job's friends, but I have to say that they offered Job more than a lot of people I know have offered to people who are mourning.

Look at what the account says they did:
Job 2:11-13 (New International Version)

Job's Three Friends

11 When Job's three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

They didn't tell him that everything would work out and that he needed to buck up and get right back into life. They realized that there was sorrow, and they let him have sorrow. They didn't have to make the situation happier so that they could feel comfortable. They sat is silence and mourned along with Job.

So, my questions to you are these: Why are people (and not just Christians) so uncomfortable with sadness? Why are they insistent that we pretend everything's always fine?

Going Green week one

So, I'm not really sure how I got sucked into all this energy saving stuff. I think it was someone's blog from a forum on homeschooling that lead me to various websites on energy conservation. That and the fact that our Vectren bill was obnoxious this month. So, anyway, I read this blog called Casaubon's Book, and she has a nice 52-week plan for less energy consumption. Her goal is 90% reduction (yeah, right...good luck, lady), but I figure that anything is good. Saving energy saves money after all, and if we could even cut back by 20% then we'd be doing well.

So, one of her suggestions is to stay home for one day every week. I didn't quite accomplish that thanks to lamer kids' events at the library (needless to say, we won't be missing our goal for those this week). But I was able to limit my trips into Evansville to just two days. I went to church on Sunday and saw an incredible Jesus painter there. (check out Billy's interview with him.) And earlier in the week, I had an appointment that I really couldn't miss. But when it was all said and done, I only drove a whopping 130 miles, which is less than the national average of 230. So, that's a success.

Another suggestion is to grow food yourself. I haven't done that yet, but I did try to buy locally. This was so not so successful, as Engelbrecht's does not actually sell local food. I went there, hoping to really support local community and to get some un-shipped produce, but alas...the only local stuff was some cabbage, green beans, and zucchini. I bought a little bit of that stuff, and made a yummy chicken/zucchini alfredo, which I have tons of and will be eating for the next several days.

I've been trying to conserve energy around the house, too. I'm sure Billy thinks I'm a loon by now, with my turning off lights and turning up the temperature and whatnot. I've even started to reach under our little entertainment center to turn off the power strip to make sure that we don't get the phantom loads charged to our account or our karma. (That karma part was a joke, guys. Lighten up. Yes, I do believe in the grace of God.)

So, anyway...we'll see where that all makes a difference in our next bill.

The whole energy conservation thing, though, is really just a way to get myself into my dreams, I think. It feels a little more meaningful to live a life where you care about things like turning off lights to save the earth and money. And where you are forced to find things to do at home instead of driving off without thinking about the gas or pollution. And really, when I can get some time plant some veggies, then I'll be really happy.

More to come on the revolution....

Budding Artist

Photo by Eve-Marie Chia

Holey Jeans

I was folding laundry today and noticed once again that every pair of jeans that Eve-Marie has has holes in them. I think it makes me proud, actually. I mean, sure, it's annoying that really the pants makers are cheap and the quality of the product is low. It's unfortunate that this particular pair of jeans that I was folding was a very nice looking pair that had been great for church and other places that a put-together casual attire was appropriate. But ultimately, I thought it was a great commentary on childhood in the summer--the carefree days of playing outside all day, sweating to no end, and falling down.

I took Eve-Marie over to a friend's house recently and the other little girls who lived there were big into climbing the tree outside the kitchen window. As Kara and I sat talking about marriage, the Bible, and homeschooling, the little kiddos pretended to be immigrants from Ireland and England.

In the midst of their game, the tree was climbed, sometimes too high for my own tastes, but it sparked some relief in me to see Eve-Marie right up there with the professionals who climbed it on a daily basis.

See, Eve doesn't often want to try anything hard. Gosh, that apple didn't fall far, huh? I know that this is a quality she inherited from me...one of the few things. Seriously, of all the things that she inherited from the other side of her biological family, did this weakness have to be the thing she got from me? So to see her do something so difficult and foreign is a pleasure, even if I do have to buy her new pants more often.

The Way Things Should Be

So, don't excommunicate me for turning green on you, but I actually started subscribing to treehugger's feed, and while a lot of their stuff is WAY too out there for me, I found this posting on Christian environmentalists to be pretty cool (Be sure to follow the link through to the Christianity Today article). Billy and I went to a marriage class recently, and the guy teaching it used his platform to insist that Christians should be leading the way with environmental protection.

Typically, environmentalists are painted by Christians to be nature-worshiping heathens. They care about the earth because they are scared of death and they grasp so tightly to this huge rock because it's all they think we have. Well, no, it's not all we have, but shouldn't we take care of it anyway? Perhaps we can't believe in both Revelation and the depletion of our resources, but does that mean that we should trash it with our obscene SUV emissions? Or worse yet, does that mean that we need to alienate ourselves from yet another segment of the population?

Think about this quote from the post and the Christianity Today article: "I grew up thinking: 'environment, liberal, bad.' "

First of all, is that really how Christians should view the earth? Shouldn't we be thinking, "Environment, Gift of God, Respect it"?

But worse, to me, are the implications of the relationship fracture that this quote points to. How many Christians think this way? And how many "bad environmental liberals" think something similar? Something like, "Christian, selfish, bad." Does God want us to look like the rest of the world driving SUVs and consuming, consuming, consuming; or does He want us to be a good example, being healthy stewards of both our money AND our resources?

So, anyway, I'm not saying that we have to fall in the spectrum of Sheryl Crow and other hypocrite liberals, but I do think that the real, everyday environmentalists, like this green blogger, are often doing a better job at being a peculiar people than we are.

Officially Sold Out

Alright....I can't resist it anymore. My darn kids are too cute and I just want all the world to see, so I've sold out and started a You Tube account. Here's my first video.

Getting Buff

Oh, my freakin gosh! My right bicep hurts so bad. I started to try carrying Ashlyn on my left arm today cause my right arm gets all the exercise. And it's getting tired. But the cool part is that very soon, I'll be the girl version of this:



SEXY!!!!

Giving Up

On the other hand (see post entitled "Letting Go"), it feels great to come home from a walk without a dog and to not see said dog being chained up in the backyard ignored.

Letting Go

So...wow. Here I am. I left my house about 1/2 an hour ago with two little girls in tow. I returned missing one. We took a lengthy stroll around the neighborhood, since that's the only fresh air or exercise I ever get (note to self: go get dirty in the garden tomorrow). As we reached the home stretch, a group of kids were assembled in the backyard of the corner house. They were racing, and laughing, and arguing over the winners. It was childhood in all its glory. And Eve-Marie just watched with longing. In a step of faith, I asked if she wanted to stay and play. After introducing myself to the resident parent of the home, I walked home in worry, looking forward to the end of the half hour that I told her she could stay. So, I wait. Only 10 minutes has gone by. I'm sure this will be the longest 1/2 hour of my life...as I wait until I get to retrieve my little one and see with my own eyes that she can, in fact, withstand time away from me with other little kids down the street where I can't supervise. Or a better analysis would be that I can see with my own eyes that I can withstand that time. Someday, I'm sure, I'll send her out to play and be relieved to have some time of peace in the home. But for now...it's only a source of nerves. And I anxiously await 7:15.

My Main Squeeze

Billy Chia dot com is back up and running. Add his blog to your subscriptions cause this man's got some good stuff to say.

Why I Want Hybrid

Now, if you know me, which I think everyone who reads this does...cause I'm pretty sure that's only like 3 people...(Thanks to my faithful friends.), then you know that when I drive down the aisle of a parking lot, I pretty much wanna puke when I see the over-priced, waste of space vehicles that take up more spaces than they really warrant.

But yesterday, I saw a commercial that made me want to spend ungodly amounts of money of a vehicle. (Actually, they start at just $23,000. Just $23,000.) Check it out below.



There's a longer version on Saturn's homepage. It adds to the "Rethink Bling" that I love with a great "Rethink Beauty" segment. Check it out. Then go buy a hybrid.

Nauseated

Have you ever had this I'm-so-tired-I-feel-like-puking feeling before? The headache accompanies it, and the last thing you really want to do is type a blog post, but alas... when you can't actually enter into the sleep that you need, what else is there to do at 3:15?

It only makes it worse to hear my beloved breathing deeply.

I really hate my house sometimes. It used to be a sanctuary. Now it is a claustrophobia-inducing cage. There's nowhere I can go to get away, and to be alone.

I've felt a lot of anxiety lately. I'm not sure that's the right word, but I don't know that there's another one to describe it. There's this tension in my chest with all the negativity attached. There's a worry about what it really takes to get to heaven. And what it really means to trust in Christ's blood.

And there's a pain when I want to go watch Eve sleep because it's the only time I'll get to be with her alone. And it hurts more when he doesn't understand that.

And if anyone thinks that love is suppossed to feel wonderful, they need to think again. I wish right now that I had believed Paul.

Sorry the all the depressing thoughts. I wish I could sit down and write with some hope. All I see before me is strife and fear and lonliness. But on one hopeful note, my friend Kara told me that once the baby stage is over, I'll remember how to live again.

Cycle of Boredom

So, there's all kinds of stuff I should be doing...unloading the dishwasher, ironing shirts, folding clothes, caring about life...

But, alas...I have no energy for any of it. In truth, I'd actually LOVE to be doing any of it. But my sleep is all screwed up lately. I'm so tired from being up in the middle of the night for 3 1/2 hours, and then of course, having to wake up with the kids this morning. Ashlyn's doing really well with sleeping, but my sleep cycle is off, and that's killing me.

So, I'm sitting here bored, but unable to really do much else.

Sleepless

I hate nights like this. It's 2:30, and I've been awake for well over an hour. The girls were tucked away by 8:30, and I was feeling worn down. So, I brought the dog in and headed off to my own little dreamland. But by 1:00, I was awake. So, here I sit waiting for morning to come, dreading the daytime...knowing that I'll be tired.

I'm not sure what it is...I guess just having those 5 hours of sleep gave me enough rest to make it hard to get any more. I mean, there's nothing on my mind that's keeping me awake. At least, not that I know of, but I figured I'd sit down here and write, and maybe something will surface.

Last night was pretty cool. I went to church with my parents for something to do. I know that's a bad reason to go to church, but sometimes on Saturdays I do that. Billy works and it gets lonely staying at home all day and night. So, I change up the scenery a bit and head out to CFC. But last night, as I dropped Eve off at Sunday school, I found out that there was no one in the prayer room, so I headed over there instead of into the service. I think I'll do that more often.

I was on a forum a couple weeks ago where we were talking about fat Christians. That's not what I want to be. So, it felt right and good to not go into the service, but to go and pray. It felt good and right to serve. It mainly felt good and right to talk to God again.

It's been a while since I actually had a prayer time. I'll say a few lines here and there throughout the day, and of course, I pray with Eve at bedtime. Sometimes, Billy prays with us before he goes to work. But those times are short, and they aren't the communion with God that I need on my own.

I used to have this insane prayer life...like I would wake up early and have coffee and God for breakfast. I had to set a timer so that I could actually start getting ready for work and make it out the door on time. I would lose track, and all of a sudden the hour was over. Somewhere in the last year, that stopped. I don't know what it was really... the sudden busyness of being married...the naseau of pregnancy making it hard to concentrate...the lack of God at the church I used to attend... I don't know. But somewhere along the line, I can remember struggling to get out a prayer and then eventually just eliminating that sacred time from my day. It wasn't a conscious thing. I mean, I didn't just decide I wasn't going to pray anymore. There was just some kind of distance and I just wasn't feeling it. And the less I prayed, the less I felt it.

So, I don't know. It feels good to have that desire back tonight, and I hope that it sticks around. I had a sneaking suspicion that if I would just do something to serve God and his people that I would have a desire for more. So, yeah...now I have a desire to commune with him again. I don't know the practical application of that. How do you find a solid length of time with a 2-month-old and a homeschooled kindergartener? I don't know. But I know that I want to. And I know that Saturday nights will hold something more than me soaking up all the feeding I can get. They'll be a release of that, and I'll pour out for once. I know that's the right thing for me to do. And I'm eager to do it again.

This is Who I Am

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Just for Jenn

Things are good. I'm getting into a bit of a routine for now. That's all subject to change based on the whims of my baby.

Let's see... the anniversary was amazing. It think it was a really good exercise in coming together for me and Billy. We had some good talking and some nice heart connecting. Of course, there was also the top of the cake and some nice wine. Our room had a hot tub, and we definitely took advantage of that. And then, no anniversary is complete without watching The Apprentice.

So...I don't really know what else to say.....

I'm not in the mood to blog right now...kinda in the middle of school with Eve, so that makes it hard.

Gotta go!

A Song for the Screw-Up

Love covers over us
Erases the sin
Eliminates our weaknesses
Removes from us the pain

And this love is divine
Yet I feel it in your touch.
And when you're close,
I believe in God.

Love covers over us
When we've given up
When we've failed to know what to do.
It's still the only truth.

And this love is beyond
All the feelings I have found.
And it keeps me here
When I'd rather go.

But I'm sorry when my words
And everything I am
Is nothing that you deserve
And I'm sorry I forget about your love.

For your love is divine
And I cannot measure up.
Yet you stay with me,
And you show me God.

Feelin' It

So, this baby thing is definitely different this time around. I don't know how to explain all that plays into that. Some of it is awesome, like the fact that I actually like the man that partnered with me to create this child. He doesn't cause me the angst that the other one did. I don't have all the pre-occupation with my negative emotions clouding my days and affecting my parenting. I feel like I have more to offer Ashlyn because I have an amazing relationship with her father.

I don't feel as overwhelmed, either. I feel like I know what I'm doing this time, and I don't have to keep asking how to manage the mothering part of it.

But I also feel that isolation of stay-at-home moms. I didn't get this the first time around because I lived with my parents and my mom worked from home, so I was around adults all the time. But I heard mothers make comments about how hard it can be to be around children all day and to lack the adult conversation. It is hard.

Today, two of my good friends came by at different time for an hour or so each. It was awesome to see Trish and the girls again, and to have some time with Amanda and Wes. But now, I'm back to being here with Ashlyn, and I'm realizing that even that time together with friends doesn't seem to speak to the need that I have.

I wonder if I'm just overly needy...maybe it's something that I need to get over. Anyway, it's something that feel now, regardless of whether it's my own problem.

I think that part of it is that I don't really have any regular kind of socializing. Like it seems I just spent today "catching up" with old friends. Somehow, it's not the same as hanging out.

The Break-Up

This is a phenomenal movie. Vince Vaughn is a genius.

All men should go watch this movie immediately. They might actually get a clue. But they should beware cause it might give their women some ideas.

The Precious Angel

Just 2 days old

Knowing Happiness

Ashlyn and I are home tonight while Billy works and Eve-Marie tumbles in the gymnastics arena. And I have the opportunity to marvel at the gift of life. And the gift of happiness.

2 years ago, if anyone had asked me, I would have told them that I was happy...because I was. Eve and I were established in our home, I had a new job that I was loving, and I felt beyond content with the progress of my success both at home and work. My faith was stronger than ever before because of the previous summer's trial of losing my old job and seeing God provide.

Then Billy came along. On March 11, 2006, we married, and I realized that I had been happy before, but this happy that I was then feeling was an amazing new happy that I hadn't yet known. Billy didn't "complete" me. God had done that already. But Billy added this new dimension of love to my life. And with that came a new dimension of happiness.

So, here comes this other new life, and I wonder now how we existed before Ashlyn was here. Perfectly happily, but somehow now that she's here, I know that there's more happiness to be had. And she brought it to us.

I know I'll never capture the feelings that I feel for this newest creature and the effect she has on our whole family. But happy is the only word for it.

Any opinions?

So, I'm taking an informal, unscientific poll. Leave me a comment and tell me what you think the following passage from Scripture is saying.

Philippians 2:12-14 (New International Version)

New International Version (NIV)

Shining as Stars

12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.


THANKS!

Relief

So, here it is... Eve's in bed. Billy's at work. Lucy's causing trouble in the living room, and I sit here with not much to do. And I am eternally indebted to my good friends Amanda, Mary, Greg and Gabrielle. They are completely awesome because I've had so many things to do between holidays and Ashlyn's birth, and cleaning my house seems like such a chore with this large lump sticking out of my stomach. It's hard just to dust a room, not to mention vacuum, mop, and lean over the tub to scrub it down. So, last night, while Billy and I went out to celebrate his 28th, they stopped by our house to treat us to a good thorough cleaning. I walked in feeling wonderful, and as I sit here now, I'm still feeling refreshed by their gesture. It's just nice to not have anything that needs to be done right now. I haven't felt this kind of relief for several weeks.

So, thank you!

Provisional Blessings

So, anyone who knows me knows abouot the impending arrival. I'm not sure you all know that the date has been most likely moved up. Due to complications in Eve-Marie's delivery, this pregnancy is considered "high risk" so they will likely be inducing me sometime in the next week and a half or so. I'm excited, although I'd really like to go into natural labor. (Please pray with us for that!)

Anyway, things have been hectic around here lately trying to prepare. I had all my good intentions of getting things ready before Christmas so I could settle down and enjoy the holiday without the added stress of lingering "to-do" items. Somehow, I pushed all those to-do's out of my mind during the last couple weeks and had a GREAT holiday. But now, I'm paying the price, darn it!

Still, it's hard to feel upset about it because God has been so good to us throughout this pregnancy. I wish I had some kind of tally of how much he's showered on us...as far as price...like as in how much money he's saved us just because he's so cool.

First and most expensive is the medical coverage that he provided to us. We qualified for some aid that allowed 100% of my medical bills and Ashlyn's first year of medical bills to be covered. This is a continuing blessing as we don't have to add her to our pathetic insurance policy for a nice $40 a month.

So, let's see..

Medical coverage: $10,000

Beyond that, the only things that I've actually spent money on so far are painting supplies for the room. We had friends give us some used large ticket items, such as...

Swing: $90
Changing Table: $150
Playpen/Bassinet: $130
1st year wardrobe: $300
Walker: $45
Crib Set (blanket, lamp, valance, crib skirt): $150

Friends also showered me with presents last night at my shower, which was awesome. We got great practical things like a changing table pad and plug protectors. We also got some fun stuff like LOTS of socks, some outfits, and lotions. Billy's family also sent some things at Christmas for Ashlyn, things like sleepers, bath supplies, and the like.

Shower gifts combined: $500

The rest of what I have has come from the Evansville Christian Life Center. They have a program called "Love for Life" that gives Baby Buck to expectant mothers upon completion of classes, homework and doctor's visits. I worked hard at accomplishing a lot there, and I was able to get lots of things, like...

Baby Carrier: $90
Transitional Carseat:$100
2 Bouncers: $60
New Breast Pump: $35
Play Gym: $50
Diapers: $75
Tons of Linens, such as blankets, washcloths, burp cloths, sleepers, onesies: $I have no idea.

The point is this: Paul says if you're gonna boast, boast in Christ. God has provided in amazing ways for us in the last nine months, and I detail all of this to encourage anyone else to know that God's bank doesn't have a limit. He owns the universe, and He can supply all our needs. Praise God that he does it!

Making a Scene

Tonight, Eve and I had the privilege of dining at Biaggi's. It was fun because Billy--er, uh, William--was our waiter. It was kinda cool seeing him wait on other tables...you know...I got to see him in action.

It's Christmas Eve, and he had to work, so that was why we went there. Christmas Eve is a time when you should be with your families. And I wonder why people think that spending time with their families is more important than waiters being able to spend time with their families. But anyway, we got to see him.

We got to see something else cool, too, while we were there. A couple of tables over, a man proposed to his girlfriend. (She said, "yes.") It was very sweet. Everyone in our section clapped.

Anyway, tomorrow's Christmas, and I'm excited because we have a whole day together, which is quite a rarity these days.

Getting All Crafty

So, getting ready for Ashlyn is great fun. All these little projects are somewhat overwhelming, but at the same time, it's really rewarding and exciting. I think I already wrote something along these lines, but my mind is pretty foggy of late.

Today, a friend of mine gave me tons of baby stuff...everything from clothes to a walker to a changing table. The only negative: the table was oak finish. Yes, I said "WAS." It is not a nasty version of white primer with bits of oak finish peaking through, but I feel really good about that. Cause tomorrow, hopefully, I'll put on another coat, and then I'll just need one coat of some semi-gloss white paint and viola! a beautiful and useful piece of furniture for Ashlyn's room.

It's fun to be all crafty. But it does tend to hurt my back.

A Worthy Quote

"A lot of people don't like Christians, but how can you not like Jesus?" --David Niednagel

Wide Awake

Well, here it is 3:12 a.m. When else would I think about updating my blog? There's been a lot going on lately, I guess, so here while I actually have more to write about, I don't have the time.

I've been busy trying to get things ready for Ashlyn's room. She'll be here in about 3 weeks, and I have a ton yet to do. It's been fun to see it progress, and once the furniture's finished in there, it will really be something. These sleepless nights can be annoying sometimes, but they can also be productive. I got quite a bit of organizing done in there tonight.

Unfortunately, I also found some mouse droppings, which is disturbing. We had some mice in the kitchen, and the pest control guy came out to set poison traps down. We haven't seen evidence of the mice in the kitchen again, but now I see some in my baby's room! I'm not sure if it's old, and they're dead, or if it's new and they just migrated.

Eve-Marie's doing good, despite a little battle with the flu. She's been cooperating pretty well with resting and drinking lots of water. She's such a sweet heart. I'm crazy about her. Sometimes I wonder how I'll love both daughters equally, but every parent of more than one that I know tells me it happens somehow.

So, I'm really excited to see Ashlyn...you know to see her features and her hair. Billy and I both had blond hair as babies, so I guess Ashlyn probably will, too. It'll be quite a different story from Eve. I got so used to seeing Eve's dark complexion and hair as a baby that lighter babies looked weird to me, so I wonder if Ashlyn will look weird until I get used to her.

The Good of Life

So, I'm sure you've all realized by now that if you don't hear from me on here, it's good news. I really hate that actually. I always feel like such a downer. Just like the crucifix.

Anyway, today, I'm not in a bad way, actually. I just figured that it's been a while and I oughta write something to let those of you I don't talk to a ton know that I'm alive and well.

I don't know....not much to report. We've been homeschooling Eve-Marie, which is going swimmingly (whatever that means...does anyone actually know where the Brits came up with that one, anyway?). But the point...it's good. She's doing well on all her addition tables, up to 9+9. And we're starting the concept of subtraction today, actually. In history, which according to Eve is the best subject after science, we're learning about Ancient Egyptians. It's cool.

Anyway, Billy's at work now. And Eve's in the bath, so it was either mess around online or clean up around the house. Hmmm...tough call there, huh?

Actually, the house isn't TOO bad, and I'm probably more concerned about getting the urine-soaked Lucy into the bath. I don't know when she'll stop peeing in her cage. It's really quite gross.

Ashlyn's growing like crazy, meaning that my stomach is getting huge. I'm trying hard to not eat too much sugar, but I'm failing miserably. Ashlyn's room is almost ready for her. We still have to try to get the piano moved out of there, but the walls are painted and I have most of her clothes sorted and put away. I think we have almost everything large that we need for her also.

Well, I should go be responsible, I suppose.

Thanks for reading.

A Weekend to Remember

Who ever knew that Mondays could be so amazing. But when they follow the most incredible weekend with the man of my dreams, how could Monday be anything but amazing?

It all started on Friday night, when we had mixed feelings on the session called "Five Threats to Your Marriage." We were thrilled because we haven't experienced the pain and resentment that so many couples experience. We felt blessed because we have tools to begin our marriage well, so we don't have the years of hurt to overcome. But we were heartbroken for those who HAVE been in such pain.

Saturday and Sunday's sessions continued to inspire us and encourage us. We found more and more oneness as we talked about the lessons and found action points to take home with us.

It's hard to actually verbalize the feeling that were aroused between us. I don't say "reignited" because it wasn't as though we had lost anything and are regaining it. It is more that we continue to be blessed with connectedness of deeper and deeper levels.

One of the things that we are eager to pursue together is a "Homebuilder" some group, which focuses on building marriages and families. We want our marriage to bless and glorify God, but we don't want to be selfish about it in the process, and we want to see others restored and renewed to see thier marriages bless God and themselves, too.

A lot of people who read this are out of town, but if anyone in town is interested, or has some friends who may be interested, please drop me a comment or an e-mail and let me know. The sooner we get going, the sooner it will start redeeming marriage for God. Of course, if you CAN'T make it cause you know, you live in Chicago or something, then your prayers are much appreciated.

God Bless.

A Scholar's Parrot May Talk Greek

Lately, I’ve been feeling pretty fake. I recently joined a Bible study, in hopes of becoming real again, but I find that this study seems only to be a course in what I’ve learned all my life, and what—right now, anyway—isn’t moving me. I realize again and again that this life in the church has taught me much about the language of religion, and I can repeat what I’ve heard without it really meaning a thing to me.

And I’m miserable.

So, I return to something simpler—something less analytical than the differences between justification, atonement, and redemption; something that will mean something to me and the world. And here I find again what never ceases to confound me.

“It is the kindness of God that leads us to repentance.” But where is this kindness found? How can my heart search earnestly in a world of unfairness and a place where serving God only hurts more and more everyday? Somehow, I know it’s not supposed to be like this.

I read a chapter in Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, which quickly became my favorite book a little over a year ago. It’s called “Problems: What I Learned On Television.” It speaks to the problems of the world…the ones we see on the news that help us feel safe and secure in the Good Ole USA. It’s depressing, though, because these problems are a reflection of who we really are…and who we would find ourselves to be if we weren’t so fortunate to live under the authority of a government that cares.

People talk about needing brokenness, and this confounds me, too. How can anyone say they need to be broken before God when all we are is broken? All we have is dysfunction. All we do is useless. I pray for less and less brokenness, in my own heart and the world. Still, I wonder what I do to obtain it. I am constantly fighting God. I ask for a heart that loves him above all else—namely, myself. But in this request is a testing to see how powerful God really is. After all, I’m doing nothing to encourage this heart. I am only fighting it. Still, I feel the spirit of hope return. And it is comforting to know that the kindness of God surpasses the rebellion inside of me.

So, with this hope I return to the true matter of the problems of this world. I return to acknowledging that my heart is black, and I am among the people—the everyone—that Paul refers to in Romans when he reminds us that there is no one who is righteous or seeks after God. And I return to letting God put this broken pot back together.

Unfatigue in the Midst of the Tired Heart

So, here...I love it when this happens. It's such a lovely time when I wanted to sleep freaking 4 hours ago but a loud, stupid, long sci-fi movie kept me up. And so here I am, unable to sleep for anything while I'm sure the culprit snoozes away...or at least lies awake in the bed waiting for me to not arrive.

I feel like I'm supposed to be happy here. But all I feel is frustration from the mixed messages that I get and the mind-changing and the lack of attachment and the intense desire for something familiar. And I see the coming reality as a trap. And I feel guilty for it.

So, I hope that this child is easier, but then again I'm so tired of not being believed that I almost hope it's not...so someone else can get their fair share before they tell me again that I've created a memory that doesn't exist in reality. And then that frustration of reading books that never give answers can be theirs to enjoy and wallow in, as it was mine 6 years ago.

But for now, I stay awake and hear the music on the radio that I wanted to make too loud on purpose, but I'm above that, I guess. Perhaps one of the few things. It's depressing music, anyway. A tortured soundtrack. And quite fitting for the moment.

IT'S A GIRL!!!

And I am very thrilled, as is Eve-Marie. When I told her that she has a sister, she said, "My wish came true!!!" (Yes, it was with three exclamation points.)

Next comes the room preparation and name choosing. And just so everyone knows.... Billy and I will name our kid whatever the heck we want regardless of opinions of family and friends.

January 21-28 is the approximate due week.

Photo to come soon...or at least eventually.

Fun Times on Arches Drive

So, today, we woke up to a bleeding dog. One who also happened to take a nice-sized crap in her cage last night. But you can't really blame the poor thing cause she just got spayed on Friday, and she's not in the best way right about now.

Anyway, she was bleeding from her incision since she kept trying to gnaw the stitches out of her tummy. I had to take her to the vet for an antibiotic and a cone collar. (See images below. HAAA!!!)

Anyway, just tonight I look over at her as Billy's tucking Eve-Marie in and she has this cone stuck in her mouth on one side and over her head on the other. Too funny. I wish I'd gotten a picture of that, but I figure you guys can't take anymore laughing today anyway.

BTW, you should see her try to eat!

Success

So, today, we had our first day of homeschooling. For those of you who didn't know already, Billy and I decided for various reasons...none of which I feel like posting online...to start that up and withdraw her from her school. Anyway, Eve was a bit apprehensive, as I guess I was also. I was excited as all get-out to start up once I saw the curriculum that came on Friday, but I was a little unsure as to how Eve-Marie would respond to my instruction. I mean, sure I taught her everything she knows to date, but to be her actual teacher was a different story.

So, we began the day with a little handwriting practice right after breakfast. We continued after taking Billy to work by learning about Martin Luther, the water cycle, capitalization, and compound words. We also had some review in math of number order and practice drawing numbers 1-9 and then some practice with reading.

I'm so psyched to continue because Eve-Marie really responded well. And I got my house cleaned, too, which is something that's hard to accomplish when I have to spend 3 hours in Evansville while she's in school.

So, yes...a good time was had by, uh, both.