The Cost of Beauty

So, on Wednesday, Billy and I had a great time at PF Chang's (see pic in the previous post). But y'all didn't get the funny side of the story.

I was excited to get a little dressed up for the evening. It's not normally my thing, but c'mon! This is a special day! So, I fit back into the cute black capris that I wore the first day Billy and I met. I had a cute red and black top, and some hot black heels that I literally hadn't worn in years. These shoes made the outfit. I was looking pretty darn good if I do say so.

As we walked toward the restaurant, I noticed that my left shoe was a little too loose, so I figured I'd need to re-buckle when we got inside. I sat down when a bench opened up to do so, but it didn't see to help. I tried again, and noticed this time that the strap was broken. It had come off of the shoe where it attached right near my heel.

"Nice," I thought. But I played it cool... tucked the strap in under my foot and elegantly walked to the table when it was ready for us (and thank God that Billy thought to call for reservations. That place was hoppin' for a Wednesday night!).

Dinner was great, but as we were almost ready to leave, I needed to stop at the ladies room. It was more than a little awkward to walk in a broken shoe, especially when my normal footwear is a pair of well-worn Vann's. But I am a woman! So, I did it with grace.

We came outside and saw a Mac store, so of course, we had to head in there. My foot was starting to hurt from the way I had to hold the shoe on with my toes, but we don't get a lot of chances to hang out without kids, so I really wanted to spend some more time with Billy before we headed home to pay the sitter.

Somewhere between the iMac and the iPhones, my other shoe broke.

Yes... I'm serious. There I was, in the Mac store, looking good with two broken shoes. But that didn't stop me. On the way back to the car, we stopped at a couple of jewelry stores to get a watch battery for Billy and a ring polishing for me. The cool people at Kay's didn't charge for either one. :)

Finally, on the way to the car, I couldn't stay cool about it anymore. I told Billy my feet were hurting because both my shoes had broken.

He offered his condolences and gave me a piggy back ride to the car.

I joked about the leg workout he was getting, and when he put me down I could feel the muscular relief he experiences as his body could go back to it's normal 160 pound burden.

So, I said, "Hey... aren't you glad I lost 20 pounds in the last year?"

He just smiled. And I laughed. It was a good time.

The World We Live In - A Greeting Card's Story

So, I was looking for a free e-card for my brother because I'm cheap, but I still wanted to show how very proud I am of him. Today is his 1-year sobriety anniversary.

As I looked for a card that said, "Congrats," I found 2 things that I annoyed me. One was that every single congrats card I looked at had alcohol on it. Champagne bottles graced them all. Nice. How in the world do you send that for a sobriety birthday?

Second, I found this gem. Can you believe that!!!! Congrats on finally getting divorced??? Ugh. What has this world come to? (Although, I have to admit that I did find it funny that both halves of the heart had men on them. Hmmmmm... what is that? Congrats on your gay divorce?)

Anyway, apparently, we can't celebrate without booze, and we're happy for divorce. Man...

30 Reasons I'm in Love

Today is Billy's 30th birthday. In his honor, I thought I'd list 30 reasons I love him.

Here we go....

1. He always compliments my cooking.
2. He likes good music.
3. He has lots of passion, whether it's focused toward God or binary math.
4. He talks my ear off every morning. Not many women can say that about their man.
5. He takes faith seriously.
6. One word -- Mohawk.



7. He tells me my touch is electrifying.
8. He's never referred to Eve as his step-daughter.
9. He works out with me.
10. #3 t4ug#&t /\/\3 1337
11. He is committed.
12. He balances faith and plans.
13. He dreams.
14. He has a tattoo.
15. He thinks I'm the most fun person he knows.
16. He's the most fun person I know.
17. He rocks.

18. He cares about the lost.
19. He's really, really, really smart.
20. He goes to work every day to support us.
21. And he appreciates what I do at home.
22. He spends his blow money on me.
23. He's intense.
24. He can't remember dates.
25. Happy family memories are important to him.

26. He calls when he's going to be late.
27. He listens to my heart.
28. He seeks wise counsel.
29. He tells me I'm beauty, even before I fix my hair.
30. He's mine!

You can see what Billy thinks of turning 30 here.

My Man and the Money

I've developed a habit of listening to Dave Ramsey online lately. Ever since our small group started going through his book Total Money Makeover, I've really wanted to saturate myself in the concept of gazelle intensity.

Today, I heard a woman calling (~16 min. mark) who was very scared about their finances, and Ramsey walked her through a budget form, but in the end told her she needed to sit down with her husband and get him to join in on the budgeting. He told her to take his hands, look him in the eye and say, "I need to see a new level of your manhood right now. I need you to sit down with me and figure this out. I can't do it alone anymore. I need you to care about me this way."

It broke my heart to hear her reply that she's tried that several times, and her husband just isn't stepping up. There wasn't much that Ramsey could say to that because you can't make a man be a man.

So, it made me really grateful for my man and how much he's been stepping up lately to lead our family financially, spiritually, emotionally. God really blessed me when He brought us together.

Women Love a Handy Man

So... this week, I've been a pretty big brat around my house. There are lots of things contributing to this, not the least of which was the recent vote that announced our country will join the ranks of the screwed up socialists. But I'm not mad, really.

Anyway, despite me taking my disappointment and frustration out on Billy, he still did a really nice thing for me last night. Cause that's the kind of guy he is.

Since his new job deals with laying cable and attaching said cable to wall outlets, I thought he might be able to re-wire our light switches so that they actually made sense. We have a few double switches that just don't seem to jive with common sense. For example, the switches in the bathrooms... the first one is the fan, and the second one (farther from the door) is the light. For 6 months, I've walked into the bathroom and turned the wrong one on first. We have a similar deal with our kitchen and dining room lights. It's annoying.

So, last night, Billy spent a lot of his time looking online and talking to someone at Home Depot, and fixing the apartment complexes shoddy job. So, when I woke up this morning... my kitchen light switch made sense! I love it.

To top it off, the old switch plate broke, and Billy got a new creme colored one that blends in so much nicer than the tan one did.

I'm a happy woman today. I love my handy man.

Changing our Family Tree

We just got back from small group a few moments ago. Dinner is in the oven, and I have some spare minutes to jot some thoughts down while Billy and the girls play together.

Our church is feeling some tension recently from financial issues, some of which go back as far as 8 years ago. Others which are more recent. You can read more about the current situation on Billy's blog.

In the midst of all the discussion at the church that's been going on about these issues, Billy and I have decided that it's time to get serious about our own finances, too. If you've been reading long, you know that I do all sorts of stuff to save money. So, we haven't been bad stewards, exactly, but we have started to get convicted on the van loan that we have.

The Bible says, “Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law” (Romans 13:7-8).

So, we talked to our small group about it (I love those people!), and today the whole group got together to start working the financial Baby Steps of Dave Ramsey. We shared stories of where we are and where we've been. Then, we watched a powerful video about stewardship and focusing our hearts to know that everything is God's, and we just manage a portion of it.

Next week, we'll start talking about his book Total Money Makeover. I can't wait to see what God does in our group over the next 10 weeks!

How We Decide

Let me say that I'm no expert here, but I know enough to know that we're all different, and those differences have much more to do with our personalities than it has to do with our culture.

Billy's reader recently turned up this graphic. It was part of a post that tried to glorify the Chinese decision-making process and undermine that of the Americans.

I take issue with the labels, of course. But even more, I take issue with the idea that one of these ways is preferable to the other.

For example, what process do you think I used here?

Today, I went to the Farmer's Market. I had some coupons for $20 of free produce. Now, I'm used to a Farmer's Market that is just a bunch of tents of individuals. You pay cash to each individual person. I've never heard of coupons being used at these.

So, I supposed (hesitantly) that it must be an actual store, and perhaps I could use my credit card if I spent more than $20.

On my way, I almost turned around because I wondered if there would be anything left since the market was closing in 30 minutes. I thought things would be picked over, so I turned on a side street to head back home. But as I turned around, I thought that this farmers market might take their leftovers to another affiliated market in town that was open 7 days a week. So, maybe there'd be plenty of food left. And I would need produce this week, so maybe all the produce would be pretty fresh, since it's local, and it would be worth my time. I continued on my original course.

I arrived to find that it was a very normal Farmer's Market. This was completely outside my paradigm. I didn't understand how this would work. How do I use coupons when I pay individuals? Will they take my debit card? How likely are they to have a way to process that in their tents? Would they even take my check? What if I spent $5, could I get change back from my $4.00 increment coupons? What if multiple people were selling the same thing? Now, I'd have to travel back and forth from tent to tent comparing and evaluating.

But I didn't have a stroller. I expected a shopping cart, and now I weighed whether it would be too inconvenient to carry my daughter while balancing my re-usable shopping bags, my wallet, and my coupons. Or I could just make her walk, which would immensely hinder my progress as 18-months-olds are well known as "slow moving vehicles."

So, was this all worth it? After all, I'd already spent the gas that I was so concerned about wasting. Still, I just didn't know. What if I couldn't use my coupons? What if I spent the time to find what I wanted, filled my bags, juggled my daughter, and then found out my stuff wasn't accepted. I saw no tent that seemed "in charge" to check with ahead of time. I was concerned that the vendors would be annoyed to answer my questions when there were plenty of "paying" customers they were already helping.

So, I headed home without getting out of my car.

You can see that this decision-making process is not "A" to "B" (i.e. I must not be a very good American).

And can you also see that this "Chinese" decision-making process is not necessarily better than the "American" one? It can actually be pretty painful.

See, investigating all the options around a decision takes a long freakin' time. It brings up concerns that then have to be squelched. It often actually makes one scared to make the wrong decision. (Or even a less than perfect decision.)

So, I headed home, empty-handed, deciding that I just wasn't ready for this.

I came home feeling pretty lame, but better prepared for the next time I venture there. (And in the meantime, I'm going to call a contact number I found online and ask!)

Billy makes decisions more like an "American" (which is funny, cause his eyes are way more slanty than mine!).

If he had come along with me, he would have said, "We're here. We're gonna check it out. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But it might, and you can't win if you don't compete at all."

He decides solidly, without a lot of mental gymnastics, and he knows that it's okay for his decisions to be less than perfect.

While there are times to be cautious, 90% of the time, if the decision is in Billy's court, I feel pretty darn proud to be American.

How do you tend to make daily decisions? What about monumental ones?

Farmer's Market photo courtesy: empracht

Spending Fast

Now that we're down here and getting settled, Billy and I have had a chance to look over our money stuff.

The move and related things (house repairs, organization needs [read: a kitchen trash can and such], bedding for Eve) have caused us to spend more than we normally do. Add to that an obnoxious bill for car repair, and we're downright tired of shelling out the cash.

So, we decided last night to participate in a "spending fast" for the month of May. This means that we won't be spending any unnecessary money.

"Necessary" will be categorized as anything that would make creditors come after us if we didn't pay. We will be paying rent. We will pay for power. We will pay for gas and groceries, although our efforts will go toward decreasing these expenditures.

"Superfluous" spending would include things like picture frames that I really want so I can hang up family pictures. These are only $2 each at Wal-mart. But $2 here and $2 there is what ends up adding up to big bucks in the long run.

I will be waiting to buy curriculum for next year until June. I'll also have to wait on getting Ashlyn's year-old pictures printed. (Heck! She's already 15 months, what's 30 more days???)

If we want, we can choose to write down things that we wanted to spend money on. Then, at the end of the month, we'll see what we really wanted by seeing if we still want it.

The idea for this came from My Simpler Life.

Proud

Just wanted to invite you all to take a look at the current issue of Evansville Parent magazine.

It's always full of fun and helpful articles, but I'm particularly interested to know your views on my article in this issue. It's on page 15.

Here's a link to the 2nd half of the magazine. My article will be on page 2 of this electronic copy.

Too True

HT: MyStarbucks

Don't Know Whatcha Got

So, they say that you don't know what you got till it's gone. It's that whole idea of taking something for granted until you lose it, and then it hits you--that thing that you didn't value meant a whole lot more to you than you ever admitted.

I know that a lot of women have husbands that just don't communicate. I've gotten a little taste of that today.

Now, wait...this is not about our latest fight.

Today, Billy got a wisdom tooth pulled. So, for the rest of the day, he's been unable to talk. This is not as fun for me as one might have thought.

See, usually Billy talks and talks and talks and talks. I mean, really...it's obnoxious. Or at least, I used to think so. But all this quiet is really unnerving, and I miss his handsome voice. So, I'm learning to appreciate him more and more.

We've been using Google Docs to converse. Billy types something, and I respond vocally. It's kinda a slow process, but it's worked so far.

His inability to speak hasn't stopped Billy from interrupting me, though--he simply doesn't wait for me to finish -

Hey wait a sec. This is Billy (I've hacked into Sarah's Blog.) I do not interrupt her. I have no idea what she's talking about.

- talking before he starts to type again.

Love Song for Billy

Last week, Billy posted a Love Song video on his site, so I had to respond in turn. This is a song that I started writing in order to express how happy I was being married to him. It ended up being an apology after a fight. It also happens to be based on 1 Peter 4:8.



the lyrics...

Love covers over us,
Erases the sin,
Eliminates our weaknesses,
Removes from us the pain.
And this love is divine,
But I feel it in your touch.
And when you're close, I believe in God.

Love covers over us,
When we've given up
When we've failed to know what do to,
It's still the only Truth.
And this love is beyond any feeling I have found.
And it keeps me here when I'd rather go.

So, I'm sorry
When my words...
When everything I am is nothing that you deserve.
And I'm sorry
I forget about your love.

For your love is divine,
And I cannot measure up.
But you stay with me,
And I believe.

HOT!

Is it wrong to get turned on in church?

Last night was Billy's first time leading worship at CFC. Fortunately, we got a chance to see him before the service and he could ask me to sit in a different spot than we normally do. This way, we could see each other while he was on stage, which was nice because in my selfishness, I really want to be able to worship with him in our service. And even though I was super happy that he has found the time, energy and passion to join the worship team, I didn't really want to miss out on having that joint time together. So, this way, we worshiped together, even though we were apart.

I have to say, though, that while I was worshiping God, I was also thinking about how totally HOT! my husband is. Made me really super proud to see that shiny band around his finger.

I think that other girls will be seeing him right about now (he's at church for the Sunday morning services) and be disappointed when they see that ring. And I'll be the girl they're all jealous of cause I get to hold his hand walking down the hallway...

And I get to go home with him at the end of the service.