Jesus Does Have a Sense of Humor...

A little while ago, at small group, Billy and I somehow started quoting the Jesus videos. The rest of the group wondered what the heck we were doing, and I told them I'd send a link to the videos so they could check them out for themselves, but I realized that these are just so funny that everyone ought to see them. And since EVERYONE reads my blog...

Here's a taste of them...

Vintage21 Jesus Video 4



More can be found at the Jesus Videos myspace page.

Vanity and Values > The Girl Scout Impact

As I noted in my last post, I lost my wallet a couple of weeks ago. I kept hoping it would turn up, but alas... nothing.

So, I headed to the BMV for a new license.

For a variety of reasons, my pic turned out less than attractive. This is a bummer cause my last driver's license was totally (and I mean totally) cute.

Anyway, the main thing I was bummed about was how chubby I looked. I've been working out religiously for the last few months, using both weights and cardio machines. So, to look overweight still was a hard pill to swallow.

So, I did what any reasonable girl would do when she's upset about her weight: I ate a handful of Girl Scout cookies....and then I ate another one.

And this got me thinking.

The Girl Scouts say that their cookie selling program is a beneficial thing that teaches girls about commitment, hard work, and the entrepreneurial spirit.

But I submit that it's really teaching girls to take advantage of people by selling addictive products that are harmful to the consumers. I mean, really, in this day where most of America is obese, isn't there some kind of more useful product that they could use to teach the values they're trying to impart?

For instance, a kid from our local high school came by recently selling mulch. What a brilliant idea. Selling mulch is a good way to beautify the community and to not make people fat. Rather, spreading mulch is physical activity that promotes health. You get your heart rate up a bit, and definitely work out your arms and back. Not to mention the benefits of spending time outdoors.

So, why can't the Girl Scouts do something that's a little more beneficial?

Never Too Old to Learn

As my 29th birthday fast approaches, I'm feeling the weight of age in various. I look in the mirror and see maturing eyes. I get out of bed with a back ache. I get more weighed down with life and find less care-free fun.

But my recent trip to Huntsville reminded me that we never get too old to learn new things.

Here's some of the knowledge I have after this last week:

1. You need your driver's license for more than just driving.
I went to Huntsville this last week to find an apartment. We sold our house last week (how's that for a big announcement?) and I was eager to have a new home to look forward to. Unfortunately, all the apartment complexes require a photo ID before viewing their apartments. No one could tell me "WHY" they needed one; it was just company policy.

A photo ID was also required for me to use a guest pass that my friend, Kristin, got for me at her gym. So, I didn't get to work out this week, either.

2. The Ohio River Valley isn't the worst place for sinuses after all.
The Tennessee Valley, however, is. Headaches abounded in the Chia clan.

3. Built-in U-turns are ingenious.
The designers of closed-access roads everywhere would do well to learn from those who put together Memorial Parkway in Huntsville. Here, you have the best of both worlds with interstate overpasses and side streets that run parallel to the highway. But the problem comes when you really need to turn into a business on the other side of the interstate. Wait! No, problem at all. Simply continue to the next traffic signal and get in the U-turn lane.

4. It's not worth it to say what you're feeling when you're overly tired.
Let's leave it here: It's harder to heal hurt feelings than it is to just keep your mouth shut in the first place.

5. Christians aren't the only ones that do things wrong.
With Billy being in church leadership, a lot of our conversation has to do with ways the Church reaches out. Billy reads a lot of different blogs, and we've both read books on "doing church" (I detest that phrase, by the way). The frustrating thing about saturating oneself in such content is that you have to filter through so much stuff about how crappy the Church is -- from not understanding non-Christian's needs (uh...last time I checked, they needed Jesus) to not marketing itself to today's generation (whole websites are devoted to this concept). So, when we had to drive around in apartment complexes for 5 minutes before we found signs for the rental office, it was a relief to see that the problem is a "humanity issue" not a "Christian issue."

Book Meme

Freezing Jessica over at Pianomomsicle tagged me to do a book meme. How fitting, since I just so happen to love books.

Here are the rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

" 'I know intellectually that God loves me, but I've had great trouble feeling that He cares on an emotional level. It took me well into midlife and the experience of a significant crisis before I came to believe in my deepest heart that my God really loves me.'
"In truth, God is a comforting, responsive parent."

--The Power of Mother Love, by Brenda Hunter PhD

I tag Misty, Kara, Katie, Trish, and CS (who doesn't have a blog, but I know you read mine, and you can comment!!!).

A Return to the Day

Back in the day, I used to wear a Harley Davidson wallet on a chain -- oh yeah, I was hardcore.

Sometime nearing my college graduation, I decided that growing up included ditching the chain.

This weekend, I lost my wallet.

I have looked everywhere for this wallet, to no avail.

If it doesn't turn up in the next couple of days, I guess I'll have to replace it, and I'm seriously considering bringing the chain back.

Are You For Real!

Remember "magic brownies" from your college days? They are now available in stores!





Can't wait to try these!






HT: My hippie mom

Statues in the Station

How weird would this be?



HT: Jim

And the Winner Is...

So, none of you knew that I was having a contest. Heck, I didn't know it until today, but Misty awarded me with an Excellence Award today. So keeping in tradition, it's now my turn to send some love out, too.


My first award goes to Billy, as the hottest blogger award.

Next, is Stuck in Stuff by Dave Bruno. He gets the award for the most inspiring challenge. Go check out his ideas.

Lastly, my great friends Amanda and Wes get an award for the least frequent posting.

Top 3 Sentiments that Made Me Fall in Love Over E-mail

With Valentine's Day coming up, I have been thinking about love. With Billy in Alabama, I've been revisiting our days of long distance dating.

Put those two together and you get a quick post to see what exactly I fell in love with 2 1/2 years ago.

These are 3 of my favorite sound bites from e-mails that Billy sent me during the summer of 2005.

#3

"I think we both kinda have the idea that you don't date someone with out it being a preparation for marriage. Like we'd be intentional about dating as to focus it to prepare in that way. It would mean respecting each other and not having sex and if we felt we didn't want to marry the other person to break off the dating. (I'm really sorry for talking about marriage I know that freaks you out.)"

#2

"So the end point of this is that you are 1500 times cooler than ever imagined a girl could be. You are intelligent and funny and your faith is amazingly dynamic. Through the stories you share I see that you are forgiving and caring and even in like the four pictures that I've seen of you, you are very beautiful. (I really mean that, I know there's an insecure girl inside of you that doesn't think so. She probably tells you that you don't look like the models on TV. I don't really go along with the world's definition of beauty. I've kinda got my own and I don't know how to describe it other than you are it.) "

And the #1 reason I fell in love with Billy over the internet was the following sentence that he wrote as he was debating when to move our relationship forward to a face-to-face meeting. It kept me laughing for literally months afterward.

#1

"The romantic kid would drive all night to come see you; unfortunately so would the creepy, obsessed internet guy. "

Giving Girls a Real Choice

Sorry if my blog has been too full of abortion talk lately. But between raunchy celebrations of death and animal rights activists who won't defend the unborn human, it's been on my mind.

It's really sad that organizations like Planned Parenthood and NOW play abortion off as a women's rights issue. We're inundated with the message that they just want the woman to be given a choice.

But the truth is that most women who get abortions do so because they feel like they have no other choice.

I saw this a couple years back, as I volunteered as a crisis pregnancy counselor.

There were 3 main fears that push a girl toward having an abortion:

1. She was afraid her boyfriend would leave her if she carried the baby to term.

2. She was afraid her parents would kick her out of the house if they found out.

3. She was afraid that she would never be able to see her dreams to fruition.

I will admit that these are hard possibilities to look in the face. But I have a healthy handful of friends who have triumphed over fears and chosen to carry their baby in spite of it.

I myself did it, too.

What we've found is that motherhood (and particularly unplanned single motherhood) does more to show the strength of a woman than abortion politics ever could.

We've found:

1. That our relationship with the controlling man or the irresponsible father wasn't healthy. It was holding us back from finding fulfillment.

2. That education and single motherhood are not mutually exclusive. It's hard, but I finished school, and so many others have, too.

3. That being a parent is the most difficult and rewarding occupation.

It takes more energy, more creativity, more understanding, more sensitivity, more discipline, more determination, more of everything than any other field.

It also yields more love, more strength, more confidence, and more purpose than any other field.

4. That dreams don't have to die. They need only be modified to include more people.

5. That your natural family may desert you when you don't live up to their standards, but the family of God is loving. And there will always be people in a church somewhere that want to patiently help you succeed.

6. That hard working single moms deserve the government assistance that they get. And it's not a shameful thing to take charity for the sake of your family.

Women need to be told that they do have a choice, and it's not limited to sacrificing their child to the goddess of women's rights.

For another voice on this topic, check out Laura Anne's guest post on helping girls make an informed choice.

On the Murder of Cats

The other day, a neighbor of mine that I had never met stopped by to ask if I had seen a grey and white cat in my yard. I told her I had, as well as several others and I was afraid they were living in my crawl space.

She hoped that I would rescue these cats and allow them to be placed with a good family in a barn. She was quite attached as she'd been feeding its parents for a year already. The rest of the family had been captured and relocated; this grey one was the only one left.

I explained to her that I'd already called Animal Control, and they had a cage in my back yard. Honestly, I didn't care if Animal Control killed this cat or not. I just wanted it to stop living in my crawl space, defecating on my property and stinking up my house in the meantime.

She gave me the number of a woman who would come out to save these cats instead of kill them, and I agreed that I would call this woman.

Here's a bit of our conversation:

Jamie: Hello?

Me: Can I speak to Jamie?

Jamie: This is Jamie.

Me: Hi, I got your name from my neighbor who said you could come out to trap this cat in my yard.

Jamie: Are you the one with the cage in the yard?

Me: Yeah, I called Animal Control and they brought that out.

Jamie *sneering*: They're just going to kill it. Is that what you want?

Me: I don't really care. I mean, my neighbor wants them to be saved, so if you want to come out, you can. She said you could get these cats for me.

Jamie: Well, I can't come tonight, and I don't know how you can want these cats to be killed.

Me: Well, I don't want them to be killed. But I already have this cage, so if the cat goes into, then...

Jamie: I can put these cats in a home and you just want to call animal control and have them killed.

Me: Look, I'm telling you...you have my permission to come in my yard and save the cats if you want. But I have to get this cage back to animal control, and if the cat's in it in the morning, then I'll let them take it. If you want it, you can come and save it. I don't care either way.

Jamie *growing in intensity*: I don't understand why you want to let animal control kill this cat.

Me *getting flustered*: Oh my gosh! I'm not an evil person. I didn't invent stray cats so I could kill them! I just don't really care what animal control does. I just want them out of my crawl space.

Jamie: Don't you have a cover for your crawl space? Can't you shut it?

Me: Yeah, I do, but you know...the plumber that got in my crawl space last fall didn't tell me that he didn't close it. So, look...you can come or you don't have to. I don't care. I already have the cage, and it doesn't matter to me who gets the cat.

Jamie: I could take that cat to a home, and animal control is just going to kill it.

Me: Well, you know... 4,000 humans are killed everyday through abortion.

Her response?

"I DON'T CARE."

Something is seriously wrong with that picture.

Strange Things are Afoot at the BMV

So...I went to get a license plate for my new van today.

I found it funny when I saw identical twin women working there. I'm not sure why, but I always think of identical twins as 2 blonde-headed 7 year olds. It may have something to do with reading Sweet Valley Twins as a child.

The next thing that struck me as funny was the tight security that the BMV has its bathroom under. I kid you not.

This poor man had to use the restroom, and they made him sign a sheet and they walked him to the restroom and waited. How crazy is that? How can you go when there's a woman waiting outside the door for you???

This is what our taxpayer money is going to. Bathrooms under the security of the Wakefield twins.

How to Get to My Site

Recently, Misty did a post about some of her blog stats, and I thought I'd take a look at my own referrals to see if any kind of humorous post could result.

Unfortunately, it seems like most people get to my site by searching for Rob Bell or Meal Mixer. That's not funny.

I did, however, crack up when I saw this one:

Kentucky Law Regarding Showering - I'm #6 on the results thanks to my derogatory post.

I also found it humorous that people world-wide have come to my site over an infatuation with the bicep picture. I mean, we're talking England, Texas, Canada, Massachusetts, Ohio, Portugal, Turkey, Brazil, Evansville (which was searched, by the way, in an Arabic language...interesting), and Kuwait.

And that's just this week. Nice...

More on God Room

I thought this was an interesting read, considering my post yesterday on God Room.

God Room

I mentioned a couple of days ago that I was reading Franklin Graham's autobiography, Rebel with a Cause.

Part of the DNA of Franklin's organization Samaritan's Purse, which was founded by the late Bob Pierce, is to promise more than they are humanly able to provide. Pierce called this "God Room."

It was a hard concept for Franklin to buy into. It remains hard for most people, including myself.

There's something so mystically appealing to me about having a faith that trusts that God will come through. Somehow, though, logic and math tend to get in the way often.

There was a time in my life that I saw God work every day. I saw need around me and saw God provide for that. It was in my own life and in the lives of those who I spent my time with.

I miss that time. And I miss those people. But I have a new energy for God's sovereignty, and it's encouraging to talk to new people that have this passion.

A Lesson on Love from Expressway Dodge

I often get caught up in the culture of entitlement. It's all around me, and it's hard to avoid. It's hard to refuse, sometimes, too.

Recently, Billy and I purchased a van from a local dealer. We went in with trepidation because we all know those stories, right? Well, we thought we were getting away with less than a major headache when the car salesman put in writing everything that we talked about and that he promised, which included several high-dollar repairs.

What we've run into has been beyond headache and is edging up toward ready-to-fire-a-revolver-at-the-next-person-that-puts-me-on-hold (after they spoke to me in the most sarcastic voice possible of course). Billy and I have both had the run around several times.

But the last couple of days, I've been battling with a burden on my heart for these horribly angry and unhappy people. I don't want to have that burden because they are mean. But I have it nonetheless because they are so hurting.

I realize that when I left behind my old nature, I entered into a bit of a paradoxical life. On the one hand, I'm free. But on the other, I'm a slave to Christ.

When I gave up my life for Christ's life through me, I did this not just to save myself and to secure my own destiny. It doesn't work like that. Because Christ isn't like that.

When I took advantage of the Grace of Christ, I acknowledged that that grace was something I wanted to offer to others.

Same with his humility.
And his servanthood.
And his love.

It is impossible for me to have a love relationship with Christ and to not find myself desperately loving the people that I wanted so desperately to hate.

Christ's love is too compelling, and it can't stop with just me.

A Tragic Anniversary and Morbid Parties

No matter how, you spin it, today's 35th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade should be a sad thing. Even for those who choose to say the case was about a woman's right to choose.

The death of over 4000 unborn a day should be something to mourn, regardless of whose choice is at stake.

I find it unbearable that people on the "pro-choice" side (you know...the ones that don't go celebrating the anniversary of women's suffrage) have parties to celebrate this morbid decision.

I found several Planned Parenthood invitations online that toted lines like, "Come and celebrate 35 years of safe and legal abortions."

Right now, I feel like puking.

In Spite of It All

I've been spending some time the last week or so reading Rebel with a Cause by Franklin Graham. He's the oldest son of Billy Graham, and I was interested in reading his autobiography because he runs one of my favorite charities, Samaritan's Purse.

The book is easy to read, and it's been cool to have some insight into who this man is and what kind of journey he's traveled.

Today, though, I read something that I had to roll my eyes at.

He was describing one of his best friends and told about a time when this friend played Christian music outside a porn shop and told people walking by, "You're going to hell. You need Jesus."

Graham was using this as a positive example of his friend's heart for God and lost people, and my immediate thought was, "Dude...if any good comes from that, it's because God works in spite of your friend."

Billy and I talk about this kind of thing a lot. We each have our own ideas about how church should be done, and what The Church should look like and focus on. We each have our own opinions of what priorities should come to the forefront and what tactics are beneficial to the cause.

Sometimes, we start to think that we can do something that will cause a person to come to Christ. What I forget is that all my efforts are filthy rags, just like everyone else's.

No one has ever been closer to God because of me. But sometimes, God chooses to work in spite of me.

Reality Check

I have a favor to ask, but some of you may not like it too much.

Can we please stop pretending that the New Testament Church was this amazing organism that functioned properly and healthily?

I mean, really...I can't begin to keep track of the number of times I've heard a rant about the modern church quickly followed by, "We just need to get back to the way the New Testament Church was."

Verses such as Acts 2:42-47 get whipped out as evidence of community and mutual love and respect and growth.

But here's the thing...

Acts 2:42-47 happened immediately after a mountain-top experience during Pentacost.

Imagine standing there with multitudes of people, gathered because of a loud raucous-y wind that was none other than the Holy Spirit descending on mere man. As the crowd grows, a man stands up, and you hear preaching in your own language, even though you are a foreigner. Through Peter's compelling message, you turn your heart toward God.

What happens next?

You come home from the gathering (i.e. the summer camp, the women's retreat, whatever it may be) and you start living in a way that is honoring and worthy of God.

And then what?

Then, the high wears off... And the body of Christ stops relying on God and begins to return to their own ways.

It's all over the New Testament, guys.

I was just reading 1 Corinthians today, so here's a perfect example.

1 Corinthians 11:17-19 "In the following directives I have no praise for you, for your meetings do more harm than good. In the first place, I hear that when you come together as a church, there are divisions among you, and to some extent I believe it. No doubt there have to be differences among you to show which of you have God's approval."

Still sounding functional and healthy? Not so much. (For more dysfunction, check out these verses.)

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that we should be happy to live in disunity and such. Quite the contrary, I agree with Paul when he urges us to keep after the prize.

I think passages like Acts 2:42-47 are great encouragers to remind us of what we are called to. Other passages are throughout the New Testament also.

So, please, let's keep pressing on and being faithful to God, but let's not pretend our humanity is some new problem that the New Testament believers didn't fall prey to, also.

New Year, New Church, New Car

I realize that I've been conspicuously absent from the blogging world lately. But I have a good reason, really I do.

You may know that Billy's been looking for a new job for the last several months. It's been a trying process, but the dedication has paid off.

This weekend, we were busy traveling to Huntsville, Alabama, to visit our new church Chase Valley. Billy will be moving down soon, and I'll stay here for a bit longer to tie up some lose ends that need finishing with the house and my part-time job.

You can find out more about the situation on Billy's blog.

Because of this new development, we've also been busy buying a second car. We got a "new" minivan - it's a 2001 Grand Caravan in a lovely shade of shiny olive green. It has a few repairs that the dealership is working on, but we should be in possession of that this week. Unfortunately, Billy gets to take it with him to Huntsville so he can move things down with him.

Things are hectic, but good.

Hope you all had a happy new year.