America, the Beautifully Materialistic

So, coming back from Jamaica. Hmmm...unfortunately much easier than I would have liked. I miss my boys down there, definately, but getting back into an American lifestyle is a lot simpler than I hoped it would be. I guess I hoped that seeing poverty daily and realizing that I am so blessed would have helped me give a second thought to whether or not I really need to have new shelving in my closet or a pretty sunset picture over my couch (as you can easily guess, I decided that they are both quite necessities...how lame.). I guess this will be my earthly struggle for who knows how long. On the one hand, I totally feel for the boys in Jamaica, but on the other hand, I'm so well aware that material possessions aren't what make or break a person. So, while I feel bad for them, I only feel bad for them in a spiritual sense. Are they certain that God loves them? Do they understand what the cross means? If they can answer those questions in the affirmitive, then it doesn't really matter what they have or what I have.

Cause sometimes, I just think...you know, God didn't allow me to live in America so that I couldn't use air conditioning. Yes...this has been at the front of my mind cause it's freaking HOT here. Jamaica isn't hot like this. It's more humid there, I guess, but it's in the 80s there and it's in the 100s here. So, why shouldn't I spend my money on being comfortable? (Wow! Do I sound like I'm trying to convince myself of something or what!) Seriously, isn't air conditioning and living in America a blessing from God, too?

But regardless, I want desperately to go back to live in Jamaica for a longer time than one week. I have to have faith that God will use whatever I can give because there are serious doubts in my mind as to what was actually accomplished there in one week. But I know that God continues to work beyond the human effort. I just wish that I could be there to see it. So, I want to return sometime in the not too distant future. Maybe I'll rent my own place so that I don't have to share a house with 41 other people. And I'll go visit my precious friend, Glenton Smith and see his smile and tell him everyday that I love him and God loves him.

In the meantime, I just pray about it. And obviously, I spend money on myself cause it's the American way. But Jamaica is in my heart, and I think that it will be for a long time to come.

(pix to come soon)