Surprisingly Painless

So, today, I had to get my car title and driver's license transferred to Alabama. I was fearing this day like no other.

Since moving to Alabama, I've run into a few hang-ups with the government. The child support rigamarole I've had to go through was beyond obnoxious. And I already wrote about the Farmer's Market confusion.

So, I was planning on hours at the courthouse for the tags followed by hours at the police department for my license. But it was actually a piece of cake.

In and out within 15 minutes at each place. Quite uneventful. Not at all like other visits to other BMVs.

Music Monday > Songs We Wish We Wrote

Ever hear a song and get so jealous that you didn't write that amazing sentiment or tremendous melody?

Happens to me all the time, but recently "I Saw What I Saw" by Sara Groves has been at the top of the list of songs I wish I wrote.

It's awe-inspiring and yanks the tears from my eyes. I hope you enjoy it, in the kind of way that makes you want to serve God in new ways.



What song do you wish you wrote?
*This post is part of Music Monday

Sites to See > July 25

Check out these links to some helpful sites:

SmileBooks: If you're looking for a way to make a super classy photobook, this is it. While the prices are a bit higher than other printers such as YorkPhoto.com, SmileBooks has way more options and classier designs than most of what I've seen before. When ordering use the Coupon Code BZZFRIEND to receive 25% off all Classic or Deluxe SmileBooks (Offer expires 10/31/2008).

We Are What We Do: Based on the idea that little actions go a long way toward changing the world, this site encourages people to track ways they've helped. Some of the actions include reading to a child, replacing one light bulb, or taking a bath with your honey. You can browse through a list of actions that others have suggested or input your own. One super fun function is the "dare" function, where you can dare other members to accomplish an action toward bettering our world.

The Point: This is a site that makes it easy to organize people towards a common goal. They have 3 types of campaigns: ultimatum ("do x, or we'll boycott"), fundraisers ("let's pay for a new playground in the community"), and carrot campaigns ("do x, and we promise to buy more"). I know several readers are into grass roots, and this is a great way to get that going.

Check out these sites and let me know which was your favorite in the comments section below.

*these sites were discovered at thefrogpond.

To Help a Friend > Enter and Win!

So, I just got done with a fun little graphics/coding project that I'm pretty proud of.

Misty at Rainy Day in May mentioned wanting a giveaway button that readers could put on their pages to let others know about her awesome generosity.

I think you all know that Misty is my most loyal blogging pal, so I thought I'd use all my vast amounts of graphics and html knowledge to help a sister out.

Here's the result:

Enter Monthly to Win

<!--START RAINY DAY GIVEAWAY--><div style="text-align: center; color: rgb(166, 77, 121);"><a target="_blank" href="http://mistywagner.blogspot.com/search/label/giveaway"><br/><br/><img border="0" alt="Rainy Day GiveAway" src="http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m206/rainydayinmay/rainydaygiveaway.jpg"/></a><br><br /> <font size="2">Enter Monthly to Win</font></br></div><!--END RAINY DAY GIVEAWAY--><br /> </div></div><!--END RAINY DAY GIVEAWAY--><br /> <br />

Be sure to visit today and mention that I sent you when you enter her contest.

Broken Hearts and Open Doors

Just got back from a monthly dinner at my church. The incidental part was that we had yummy ice cream and I sang with Billy to lead God's people in worship.

The amazing part was the missionaries that spoke to us about a recent trip to Rwanda.

A young woman from our church named Tammy went with e3 Ministries in June. So, tonight, she got a chance to show a DVD with pictures and video clips, as well as to talk about the trip and the ministry that they did and that they experienced.

Her recurring theme was, "that just made my heart melt." Whether it was the passionate nationals who were praying for her to have a son (they were shocked that she was married without kids, and didn't really understand that it was by choice) or the young African boy who took such joy in daily carrying her backpack down the mountain, Tammy was overwhelmed with gratitude to the people who showed her God's love so deeply.

And then, the full-time mission workers spoke.  Parts of their talk were statistics.  Heart-breaking, gut wrenching statistics - the number of households run by 11-year-olds, the number of orphans, the number of deaths.  And also amazing, God glorifying statistics - the number of converts and church plants.

One thing that I thought was a riot was what this missionary told us the purpose of American trips was.  It was not so we could waltz in there and tell news that no African knew; it was so that we could provide opportunities and avenues for nationals to share the gospel in places they can't get into on their own.

Apparently, white skin is welcome anywhere.  So, often, the Americans act just as a way to open the door for the Africans to have a platform to speak from.  Africans are ready and raring to get the gospel to their countrymen.  And we can help them just by being white.

Of course, after hearing from these missionaries, my heart is re-broken for the little boys that I met in Jamaica 3 years ago.  I'm praying tonight for Glenton Smith, Lynval Campbell and Jerome Davis.

Music Monday: Free Music from OurStage.com

Last week, I wrote about Derek Webb's initiative to get free music out there for the public.

Another website I've come across recently is called OurStage.com

It's an avenue to find some new music by independent artists. More developed than Noise Trade, it recommends music for you based on your ratings.

I found some great accoustic/folk type stuff, but there's also countless other genres.

Check it out to see the sample downloads before you commit to a free account.

Here's to good music, for a good price. ;)

This post is part of Music Mondays.

How We Decide

Let me say that I'm no expert here, but I know enough to know that we're all different, and those differences have much more to do with our personalities than it has to do with our culture.

Billy's reader recently turned up this graphic. It was part of a post that tried to glorify the Chinese decision-making process and undermine that of the Americans.

I take issue with the labels, of course. But even more, I take issue with the idea that one of these ways is preferable to the other.

For example, what process do you think I used here?

Today, I went to the Farmer's Market. I had some coupons for $20 of free produce. Now, I'm used to a Farmer's Market that is just a bunch of tents of individuals. You pay cash to each individual person. I've never heard of coupons being used at these.

So, I supposed (hesitantly) that it must be an actual store, and perhaps I could use my credit card if I spent more than $20.

On my way, I almost turned around because I wondered if there would be anything left since the market was closing in 30 minutes. I thought things would be picked over, so I turned on a side street to head back home. But as I turned around, I thought that this farmers market might take their leftovers to another affiliated market in town that was open 7 days a week. So, maybe there'd be plenty of food left. And I would need produce this week, so maybe all the produce would be pretty fresh, since it's local, and it would be worth my time. I continued on my original course.

I arrived to find that it was a very normal Farmer's Market. This was completely outside my paradigm. I didn't understand how this would work. How do I use coupons when I pay individuals? Will they take my debit card? How likely are they to have a way to process that in their tents? Would they even take my check? What if I spent $5, could I get change back from my $4.00 increment coupons? What if multiple people were selling the same thing? Now, I'd have to travel back and forth from tent to tent comparing and evaluating.

But I didn't have a stroller. I expected a shopping cart, and now I weighed whether it would be too inconvenient to carry my daughter while balancing my re-usable shopping bags, my wallet, and my coupons. Or I could just make her walk, which would immensely hinder my progress as 18-months-olds are well known as "slow moving vehicles."

So, was this all worth it? After all, I'd already spent the gas that I was so concerned about wasting. Still, I just didn't know. What if I couldn't use my coupons? What if I spent the time to find what I wanted, filled my bags, juggled my daughter, and then found out my stuff wasn't accepted. I saw no tent that seemed "in charge" to check with ahead of time. I was concerned that the vendors would be annoyed to answer my questions when there were plenty of "paying" customers they were already helping.

So, I headed home without getting out of my car.

You can see that this decision-making process is not "A" to "B" (i.e. I must not be a very good American).

And can you also see that this "Chinese" decision-making process is not necessarily better than the "American" one? It can actually be pretty painful.

See, investigating all the options around a decision takes a long freakin' time. It brings up concerns that then have to be squelched. It often actually makes one scared to make the wrong decision. (Or even a less than perfect decision.)

So, I headed home, empty-handed, deciding that I just wasn't ready for this.

I came home feeling pretty lame, but better prepared for the next time I venture there. (And in the meantime, I'm going to call a contact number I found online and ask!)

Billy makes decisions more like an "American" (which is funny, cause his eyes are way more slanty than mine!).

If he had come along with me, he would have said, "We're here. We're gonna check it out. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But it might, and you can't win if you don't compete at all."

He decides solidly, without a lot of mental gymnastics, and he knows that it's okay for his decisions to be less than perfect.

While there are times to be cautious, 90% of the time, if the decision is in Billy's court, I feel pretty darn proud to be American.

How do you tend to make daily decisions? What about monumental ones?

Farmer's Market photo courtesy: empracht

Have You No Shame? a.k.a. You're Lucky I Don't Have a Photo

So, I've written before about how much time we spend at the pool, chilling in the coolness while the rest of the city is steaming in the 95 degree weather.  Not to rub it in, or anything.

But something I just can't get over every time we've gone is the fat girls in the bikinis. 

It brings to mind a comedian I saw years and years ago.  (I wish I could remember who it was, I'd insert a YouTube vid here.)  He talks about these woman with rolls all around their backs, stomach hanging over their waistline, and he wonders,

At what point does she look in the mirror and say, "Man! I look good!"

Billy says he thinks it's just the style these days to wear a bikini no matter how big you are, but I just don't see how that ever made it past the fashion police.

Call me old fashioned, but I'm still interested in a bathing suit that hides the flaws and flatters my figure. 

I'll go for the solid black tankini, thank you very much!

Feeling Curious? Ask to Pray

A couple of years ago, my family had a pretty huge thing going on. There was trauma and lots of tears. There was traveling involved. There was embarrassment and grieving. There was a lot of requesting for prayer.

I remember very distinctly a phone call that I got at that time from a woman at my church. She was calling to find out the situation so they could "know how to pray."

Now, maybe I'm too sensitive (ok....I know I am), but I was instantly disgusted. While I appreciated any prayer we got from our friends, I felt like this woman was really just feeding her curiosity.

I bring this up because my mom asked me to pray for a friend of hers last night. All I know is that she is going through what is the hardest time of her life (one that's lasted 60+ years, so this must be big). Whatever it is brings a lot of embarrassment to this woman, and she asked my mom not to share any details.

So, what did I do? I prayed.

See we don't need to know about the situation, because honestly, our understanding is pretty darn insufficient anyway. That's why the Spirit and Jesus pray with and for us (Rom. 8:26, Hb. 7:25).

It's our hearts that matter in prayer, and pretending that we'll know how to pray because we know the details is a pretty shallow habit. Pretending that God acts based on our understanding of someone's needs is even worse.

But the positive side is this: our prayers are still effective (Js. 5:16). They are aromatic offerings to God (Ps. 141:2, Rev. 5:8).

So, when we don't know what to pray, we pray anyway. Because God looks at whether we intend goodness and not whether we understand his will.

2 Great Causes

Today's fasters are Pete and Brent. These are guys that are normally in Billy's circle, and I try to let him have his own sphere that I stay out of. But today, I had to comment on their sites and link 'em up.

Pete's writing about legal action taken in the name of justice for the poor and oppressed. He highlights an organization that puts ethics back in the often corrupted field of the law. He interviews a friend who's involved with the International Justice Mission.

Brent is writing about something dear to my heart -- a local crisis pregnancy center. He has some heartwrenching stats and some uplifting info on the hope-filled mission of these dedicated people.

Please visit them today, and offer your prayers for their sustenance.

Ear Candy

I just downloaded some music for free from NoiseTrade.com. It's apparently a project of Derek Webb's. So, of course, I had to get his music.

I also got some new tunes from Sixpence. I mean, the tunes aren't new, at least I don't think so. But they are new to me. So, that's cool.

HT: Shaun

Wordless Wednesday > My Eyes Are Not Normally So Big

Go check out Amanda for a contest on photo booths.

HT: Misty

Only in America...

I seem to be hearing this phrase a lot lately, normally in a derogatory way. It's used primarily to dig on some kind of shortcoming that a person wants to attribute to our country.

In case you're tempted to do so yourself, consider this quote:

"The national budget must be balanced, the public debt reduced, and the arrogance of authorities moderated." Cicero (106-43 BC)

I'm not the kind of person who buys into the idea that we're all so different. I don't believe that problems arise because of where you are. See, sometimes, problems have nothing to do with the country, and everything to do with humanity.

Human nature is one thing that isn't bound by culture or time.

Please Don't Call Me a Mommy Blogger

Sure, I'm a homeschooling SAHM of dd7 and dd1.5, wife to dh=hotness. Sure, I wake up to leaky diapers and spend my days picking up toys and feeding kids. Sure, I write about my kid's development and quick make-up fixes, but I'm so much more than that, too.

It's kinda like that age-old debate between working moms and stay-at-home moms (okay... not age-old, but at least since the 60's... and isn't that forever ago?). There's the issue of whether or not a daycare should raise your kids and whether it's too mind numbing to be engaged with 2 year olds all day. But in the end, the SAHM is honestly frustrated because the working mom tells her that she's "just" a mom.

So, I read recently that to blog well, you need to have an identity, to pick your niche so to speak. It's talked about all over that people need to know what to expect from you, that you need to target an audience that wants what you're going to consistently give them.

So be it.

But this one's not gonna do it. Cause I while I may have some child-rearing experiences I want to share, I'm just as likely to tell about struggling to love hateful people, or considering my own pleasure to be a means of pain for others. I'm just as likely to write about my awesome apartment, as I am to review a book for church leaders.

But either way, I'm not just a stay at home mom, and I'm not a mommy blogger. So, sorry if you were looking for something predictable. But I just don't do niches.

Up to Our Eyeballs

I got a voicemail today from a very nice sounding young man named William Page. He was calling with concern because his records showed that our loan payments were overdue, and he hoped that we could work together to come up with a loan restructuring plan based on our current financial situation. He urged me to call soon so we could begin avoiding foreclosure immediately.

I didn't call. In fact, I deleted the voicemail.

Billy and I have an ethic of living within our means. So, that means that we don't take debt lightly. We are careful to enter into any kind of arrangements where we owe anyone anything. We don't commit our money where it can't be fulfilled. Rather, we work to pay extra on the one loan we owe on our van.

After all, the Bible tells us to, "let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another..." Romans 13:8.

But I realize that not everyone lives this way. And my heart broke today listening to the call.

We got that call, I'm sure, as a cold call from a telemarketing agency trying to build up business for a consolidation company. It didn't apply to us, but odds are that it applies to more people than not these days.

Our country is so overwhelmed with debt. In Indiana creditors were calling us to get to our neighbors. The resident who lived in our apartment before us is defaulting on her loans (I know this cause I get her mail all the time and the envelopes proclaim it).

The other day, I fasted for those in captivity abroad. Today, I mourn for those who are shackled here in America.

Mark Driscoll Done Me Proud

If you've been hanging around here long, you probably realize that I have a love/hate relationship with Mark Driscoll (what Christian doesn't?)

I love his determination. I love that he has strong opinions. I love that he's reaching out to our post-mod culture without buying into its wish-washy nature.

But I hate his jerkiness. I hate his forceful and derogatory comment. And sometimes, I just hate his opinions.

But today, Billy showed me a video that I absolutely love.

It's Mark Driscoll being strong and determined, but also loving and compassionate.



A few things to note:

• The statistic he mentions of 1/3 of the congregation having been raped or molested is not limited to Mars Hill. This is a national statistic. It's sick, and it needs to change.
• Believe it or not, many Christians are still not willing to believe that abortion is wrong. There are many pastors who won't take a stand on this, and many more congregants that still want to be PC and pretend it's a "choice" issue. As someone who went through a crisis pregnancy 8 years ago and someone who's counseled others through them, I know that there are other, better choices. It's not about a choice or a preference. It's about life. And as Driscoll says, "A life is a life."
• At other times, I've heard Driscoll encourage people to attend small groups or get hooked into other community at the church in order to get encouragement or discipleship. Here, he offers to meet with this woman himself. I think that's a great balance between guarding your time and being available when people most need you.
  

40-Day Fast

Last week, I wrote about the beginning of the 40-day-fast, and since that time, you've seen links to other bloggers who were participating. I hope you've clicked through to a few to offer your support and to learn about some great causes.

Well, today, it's my turn, and I'm about as geeked as you can be to not have food for a day. I have a fasting partner, Steven Russell. We're not necessarily fasting for the same cause, just on the same day. Please go visit him after you finish here.

Fasting for the Persecuted Church

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

Tomorrow, we Americans will celebrate our independence. Ours, like any other, came through a hard journey and a great fight, starting long before colonization. Regardless of the bad rap that the Puritans and Pilgrims get in our history books, the truth is that they came here for religious freedom. Some came because they held a different conviction from the ruling powers. Others came because they wanted to reform the current church by setting a good example of purity. Either way, they moved here to be free.

Then when our founding fathers drafted the Bill of Rights, the right to this freedom was placed #1 alongside the freedom of speech, peaceful assembly, and the press.

No matter where our country's religious fervor stands now, we are still blessed with freedom to practice as we like. But we have millions of brothers and sisters around the world that don't have this freedom. These Christians are facing imprisonment, torture, and death.

In fact, the most recent statistics estimate 175,000 yearly murders and assassinations.

Of course, this is happening in the obvious countries - China, Iraq, Ethiopia. But persecution and torture also takes place in parts of Mexico and other democratic countries like Belarus.

This is where my student Vadim came from. His family had immigrated to America in 2000, as religious refugees. His parents owned a tailor shop, and he was enrolled in my writing class, but confused about where he was headed in his life.

Over the next year, I got to watch him find direction, to grow in his faith, to burn with passion, and to take the oath to become an American citizen. It was awesome to witness all this. I was proud of him and proud to know him. I am forever grateful that God chose to bless his family with passage to America.

But people in his home country - and around the world - still suffer.

It's easy to sit over here on the opposite side of the world and take our freedom for granted. It's easy to ridicule our churches and complain about all the ways they're "doing church" wrong. It's easy to forget that the reason we have posers in our congregations is that we have freedom and our lives are not in jeopardy just because we showed up to a gathering.

It's easy to feel secluded, far away from the pain. It's easy to go all day, all week, all month without thinking about the torture, bondage, and death that our family across the ocean goes through.

So, today, I am breaking away from what's easy. I'm praying today for spiritual perseverance, for faithfulness, for joy for our persecuted and tortured. I'm praying specifically that these Christians living in captivity will find peace in knowing they are free in Christ.

And I'm praying for Americans, too, that as we celebrate our earthly freedom, that we would be burdened to unify with our global family.

Remember those in prison as if you were their fellow prisoners, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering. Hebrews 13:3

For more information and ways you can help encourage a persecuted Christian, visit http://www.persecution.com or http://www.prisoneralert.com.

Why Fast?

After all this talk of food that's been going on here at This One Goes Out, my day of fasting is coming up quickly. I'll be abstaining from food on July 3rd. Billy will be taking a couple of shifts with the girls to allow me some time to be focused on God, unified with His desires, and listening to his prompting.

But all this raises the question, "Why bother?" While we can't say for sure just what fasting does for us or for that which we're praying for, I have my beliefs on why we should bother withholding food.

There are actually few times that I've felt called to fast. Once was when Billy and I were trying to figure out where to go with our relationship. Another was while we were living apart a few months ago and we were trying to sell our house. Each time I saw powerful things happen.

Scripture points to this power when Jesus' disciples question him about why they could not drive out a demon. They seem to have been able to drive other demons out, and they wonder why this one just won't listen. Jesus replies, "This kind can only be driven out through prayer and fasting." (Mt. 17:21, Mk. 9:29 NKJV)

In other words, there is a lot of power that Jesus has given to us already. We can personally do a lot to further God's kingdom, but sometimes the power is reserved and we just have to turn to him in a state of humbleness, remembering that we must rely completely on him to do the work himself.

So, tomorrow, I will be doing just that.

July Goals

Here's how I did on my June goals:

• Continue "real" exercise 2x a week, but also add in mini-sessions 2 evenings - Except for the week that I had insomnia, I did good with this.

• Find out about new car and drivers' licenses - I never knew how hard it would be to find out where I actually go to do this. I quickly found out the requirements for transferring my license and titles, but figuring out the location took quite a bit of effort. I think I got it, though.

• Decrease auto fuel usage by 10% (in terms of dollars!) - This was kinda a dumb goal. We ended up driving less, and if gas hadn't continued to rise, we would've made it. But as it is, we spent about the same amount as last month.

• Figure out some ways to eat healthy and cut the grocery bill - We spent 18% less this month than last month. I feel like we've had enough to eat and it's been quite good for us.

• File all my crazy papers - honestly, I don't know why I put the filing off so long. I set aside a couple of evenings that Billy was at band practice, and I whipped through this bad boy in a 30-minute session. What a relief!
• Shred unneeded ones - This was a little more difficult. When my 8-pages-max shredder started choking on one sheet at a time and overheating after 5 minutes of use, I knew I had problems. Eventually, my shredder was grinding really weird, and I'm a little scared to finish.
  

• Finish choosing photos for the baby book - DONE! And not just the choosing, but also some of the editing, uploading, and arranging on the memory book template from YorkPhoto.com

JULY GOALS:

Finish Ashlyn's baby book and order it, along with other pix I haven't wanted to pay for yet
Prepare lessons for the first 4 sessions of schooling for fall
Go on a date
Figure out what to do with my papers that need shredding
Decide on a cause to support