super
Saturday, September 24, 2005
What Ought To Be Typical
Soccer rawks. Weeds and spiderwebs do not.
Saturday freedom is the bomb. Saturday boredom blows me to bits.
It's tempting for me to be downcast. But this is nothing that intentional time with Eve-Marie can't fix, apparently. She totally rawks. And she's an awesome soccer player, too. I'm pretty proud of her cause she really understands the concept of teamwork in a sport. Well, at least to the extent that the 2 of us can be a team (our team name, by the way, is "The Invisible Ghosts"). So, she all knows it's important to pass the ball and receive passes. When we played on opposing teams (and that that point, her team was "The Turtles"), she actually stopped a few of my half-serious attempts to score a goal against her. She's rad.
So, it's 12:25. I have nothing on my schedule today but cleaning out that closet. Errr....I just don't want to start! But I have to, so...so long.
Saturday freedom is the bomb. Saturday boredom blows me to bits.
It's tempting for me to be downcast. But this is nothing that intentional time with Eve-Marie can't fix, apparently. She totally rawks. And she's an awesome soccer player, too. I'm pretty proud of her cause she really understands the concept of teamwork in a sport. Well, at least to the extent that the 2 of us can be a team (our team name, by the way, is "The Invisible Ghosts"). So, she all knows it's important to pass the ball and receive passes. When we played on opposing teams (and that that point, her team was "The Turtles"), she actually stopped a few of my half-serious attempts to score a goal against her. She's rad.
So, it's 12:25. I have nothing on my schedule today but cleaning out that closet. Errr....I just don't want to start! But I have to, so...so long.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
The Eve-Marie Dictionary
Improvising: your confidence is big in...I mean, you do good things. That's improvising.
Northern Lights
So, I guess it's about time I process some that crazy stuff from last week, huh? I guess I haven't yet cause...well, Billy did such a great job on his site.
But I have some other things going on in my mind, too, I suppose. Imagine that...ha...we're different people after all.
So, I feel so lame for not wanting to play by the rules in Michigan. But I feel even lamer for calling Jolyn white trash just because I didn't like the rule. I'm super sorry for that. But fortunately, I'm right there with you cause Michigan has some irresistable force that draws my hand out the window when it's down. So, maybe it's only white trash in Evansville, where MOST things are white trash.
So, yeah...I think other than that one moment, things were completely awesome, and I'm grasping for words besides Billy's to talk about it. No wonder he just lists the highlights. Here's one of my highlights: that words aren't effective...but then they are once you actually use them. Lots of good talking. I'm down. Anytime.
Oh, yeah...I got to see "Two-steppin' Honest" live, so that rocked. I watched the DVD today, as is my Tuesday ritual. It was cool again, as always. But it was even cooler cause I've seen him play it live. Isn't that all cheesy and sappy and lame? Hmmmm.... perhaps I finally have some confirmation that I'm a girl.
Another good thing in Michigan (but this had nothing to do with being IN Michigan) was the fact that all these tears that have been refusing to let go finally let go. It actually started a few days prior to my trip, as I started reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge. It just kept going, which was awesome...the crying, I mean. And then, I got to cry not just over the book, but over real circumstances that actually touched my heart. It was pretty comforting, as is Billy's shoulder.
So, Michigan...the overall verdict is that I love it.
Evansville... it's good to be home, but I'm tired and perhaps a little lonely (but not too much).
But I have some other things going on in my mind, too, I suppose. Imagine that...ha...we're different people after all.
So, I feel so lame for not wanting to play by the rules in Michigan. But I feel even lamer for calling Jolyn white trash just because I didn't like the rule. I'm super sorry for that. But fortunately, I'm right there with you cause Michigan has some irresistable force that draws my hand out the window when it's down. So, maybe it's only white trash in Evansville, where MOST things are white trash.
So, yeah...I think other than that one moment, things were completely awesome, and I'm grasping for words besides Billy's to talk about it. No wonder he just lists the highlights. Here's one of my highlights: that words aren't effective...but then they are once you actually use them. Lots of good talking. I'm down. Anytime.
Oh, yeah...I got to see "Two-steppin' Honest" live, so that rocked. I watched the DVD today, as is my Tuesday ritual. It was cool again, as always. But it was even cooler cause I've seen him play it live. Isn't that all cheesy and sappy and lame? Hmmmm.... perhaps I finally have some confirmation that I'm a girl.
Another good thing in Michigan (but this had nothing to do with being IN Michigan) was the fact that all these tears that have been refusing to let go finally let go. It actually started a few days prior to my trip, as I started reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge. It just kept going, which was awesome...the crying, I mean. And then, I got to cry not just over the book, but over real circumstances that actually touched my heart. It was pretty comforting, as is Billy's shoulder.
So, Michigan...the overall verdict is that I love it.
Evansville... it's good to be home, but I'm tired and perhaps a little lonely (but not too much).
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Must We Always Pain the Maker?
Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take,
I'll be watching you.
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay,
I'll be watching you.
Oh, can't you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take.
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake,
I'll be watching you.
Since you've been gone,
I've been lost without a trace.
I dream at night.
I can only see your face.
I look around but it's you I can't replace.
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace.
I keep calling begging, baby, please.
"Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God." Romans 8:8
Because God cries when He knows where your soul's going--regardless of whether your actions are good or not.
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take,
I'll be watching you.
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay,
I'll be watching you.
Oh, can't you see
You belong to me?
How my poor heart aches
With every step you take.
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake,
I'll be watching you.
Since you've been gone,
I've been lost without a trace.
I dream at night.
I can only see your face.
I look around but it's you I can't replace.
I feel so cold and I long for your embrace.
I keep calling begging, baby, please.
"Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God." Romans 8:8
Because God cries when He knows where your soul's going--regardless of whether your actions are good or not.
The Day
So, worship today was awesome. Like Sam must've been a super happy person all week to choose the songs that he did for this morning. They were all up beat, and we were all grooving. It rocked my socks.
And the choir sang, and that rocked cause they were all praising Jesus.
And then Pastor David preached, and man! That man speaks truth. That's just all it is. He's so taking our church in the direction God wants it, and it excites me. Today, he talked about evangelism and our testimonies. He asked how many of us shared the news of dropping gas prices with any of our friends this weekend. Of course we did. But how many of us shared the news of Jesus? You know...that news about how we can never earn our way to God, but Jesus being the perfect and loving man-god that he was took the punishment for our sins so that we can get the reward of Heaven. Yeah...you see the point. Conviction.
But always, he reminds us that prayer is the predecessor of any fruitful endeavor and community is the support that everyone needs. I can't wait for my new small group on Wednesday. I am SO there...no matter what. (Please pray that I don't get in a car accident on my way, cause Satan's such a lamer that way...and I'm only halfway joking.)
Yeah...God rox.
And the choir sang, and that rocked cause they were all praising Jesus.
And then Pastor David preached, and man! That man speaks truth. That's just all it is. He's so taking our church in the direction God wants it, and it excites me. Today, he talked about evangelism and our testimonies. He asked how many of us shared the news of dropping gas prices with any of our friends this weekend. Of course we did. But how many of us shared the news of Jesus? You know...that news about how we can never earn our way to God, but Jesus being the perfect and loving man-god that he was took the punishment for our sins so that we can get the reward of Heaven. Yeah...you see the point. Conviction.
But always, he reminds us that prayer is the predecessor of any fruitful endeavor and community is the support that everyone needs. I can't wait for my new small group on Wednesday. I am SO there...no matter what. (Please pray that I don't get in a car accident on my way, cause Satan's such a lamer that way...and I'm only halfway joking.)
Yeah...God rox.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Fun in the Dark with Cops
So, here's one benefit of insomnia: You get to chill on the street with your boys in blue (or brown, as it were). I had an awesome visit with Paul, the Cop, tonight....err...this morning. He's one of my best friends, and it makes me sad that I never get to see him. Usually, he'll stop by for a couple minutes and tell me about the progress of his house renovation, and then he's off to another call. But when it's 2 am, and I can't sleep, who better to ring up than the law? So, we got a good 1 1/2 visit standing outside, feeling all cool, and leaning on his cruiser. He'll kill me if he ever reads this cause he's such a man's man (seriously!), but he's such a girl sometimes, too. I can talk to him about all my girlie stuff and he just says, "Good for you!" And it makes me feel good.
He thinks Billy is a fine-looking man, but he thought that he's younger than me, to which I took offense.
He also thinks that I've come a long way since we first met about a year and a half ago. I didn't think I was that bad off back then, but apparently, he's super proud of the changes in my life. I have to say, to redeem myself for that "girl" comment up there--Paul was a big reason that I was strong last spring and summer when my job sucked and then I lost it, and Joe was a loser (still is, as far as I know...where the freak's my child support!!!!!!?????). Paul is really awesome at encouraging. He always has positive things to say, and he always looks out for me, too. He's definitely my big brother, but also a really good friend.
Our time together ended with a car speeding down my street and Paul pulling it over from my driveway. After showing mercy by releasing him without a ticket, Paul left to go fight crime. A good time was had by all.
I hope it won't be so long till next time, Gash.
He thinks Billy is a fine-looking man, but he thought that he's younger than me, to which I took offense.
He also thinks that I've come a long way since we first met about a year and a half ago. I didn't think I was that bad off back then, but apparently, he's super proud of the changes in my life. I have to say, to redeem myself for that "girl" comment up there--Paul was a big reason that I was strong last spring and summer when my job sucked and then I lost it, and Joe was a loser (still is, as far as I know...where the freak's my child support!!!!!!?????). Paul is really awesome at encouraging. He always has positive things to say, and he always looks out for me, too. He's definitely my big brother, but also a really good friend.
Our time together ended with a car speeding down my street and Paul pulling it over from my driveway. After showing mercy by releasing him without a ticket, Paul left to go fight crime. A good time was had by all.
I hope it won't be so long till next time, Gash.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
ONE THING
I've heard that Lonliness is here.
It's given and thoughtfully used.
I can only pray that it will make me stronger
When I seem to be confused (courtesy Fredreich Neitszche...or however the heck you spell that)
Well, the night is always dark.
And the dark is still alone.
I have told you over so many times
That I just want to go home.
Baby, you know I've been thinking.
Child, I love you too much to leave.
But when Hopelessness surrounds my nights
My words take off without me.
This one thing I know--
That Time will take its toll.
That two roads are staring me down.
That one road is higher, but hard to walk upon.
And one will make me drown.
And this one thing I've seen--
That the one that's so much higher
Has a hope that's founded in truth.
Tells me I haven't wasted my youth.
These words were dead, unfeeling.
These smiles were pain through tears.
These tears were failed manipulation
Unperfected through the years.
My soul was weak and feeble.
It's love, quickly decreasing.
My dementia broke into my habit
Of a joy that was unceasing.
It's given and thoughtfully used.
I can only pray that it will make me stronger
When I seem to be confused (courtesy Fredreich Neitszche...or however the heck you spell that)
Well, the night is always dark.
And the dark is still alone.
I have told you over so many times
That I just want to go home.
Baby, you know I've been thinking.
Child, I love you too much to leave.
But when Hopelessness surrounds my nights
My words take off without me.
This one thing I know--
That Time will take its toll.
That two roads are staring me down.
That one road is higher, but hard to walk upon.
And one will make me drown.
And this one thing I've seen--
That the one that's so much higher
Has a hope that's founded in truth.
Tells me I haven't wasted my youth.
These words were dead, unfeeling.
These smiles were pain through tears.
These tears were failed manipulation
Unperfected through the years.
My soul was weak and feeble.
It's love, quickly decreasing.
My dementia broke into my habit
Of a joy that was unceasing.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Liquid Gold
Man... Sometimes life is too much trouble. And then sometimes it's really, really good. I wish I had some of that really good bottled up so I could just pour it out on myself when I'm tempted to wallow.
Not that my life is in the mire or anything. Things are super cool, so I really have no complaints. I just have to be dramatic, I suppose.
Yeah. Things are cool. Cause Billy was here this weekend, and it was awesome. We had fun. We went to a show. We watched the river, went to Seekers and to church. We played hackey sack, and said goodbye. It was cool to be with him again.
It was sad to see him go, and worse to have Monday without him.
But really...I think I'm just as down about how little I do for the causes I support. Like I just read "Blue Like Jazz." (This book now comes highly recommended by me. My seal of approval is on the cover of the latest printing.) But yeah...that book was so incredibly real, and I wanted to marry the guy. Except, I have a suspicion that he's a little overweight and possibly too old for me, and while we're being real, I may as well admit that I have a huge superficial streak in me, and I could never marry someone who was overweight on the wedding day. Cause I don't think that I would ever be able to give him a chance with dating if he were overweight. And let's just face it, you have to be attracted to the man you marry or your wedding night...well....
But that's not the point. The point is that there're are real people starving for whatever they're starving for, and it bothers me, but I still would rather have my Jamaica picture framed than send the $10 to Samaritan's Purse or something. I do not really beat myself up over this picture as much as it sounds on my blog. I love my picture, and it's not a sin to buy a picture frame.
Anyway...if anyone has an idea for the bottled good times, let me know...
I'm out.
Not that my life is in the mire or anything. Things are super cool, so I really have no complaints. I just have to be dramatic, I suppose.
Yeah. Things are cool. Cause Billy was here this weekend, and it was awesome. We had fun. We went to a show. We watched the river, went to Seekers and to church. We played hackey sack, and said goodbye. It was cool to be with him again.
It was sad to see him go, and worse to have Monday without him.
But really...I think I'm just as down about how little I do for the causes I support. Like I just read "Blue Like Jazz." (This book now comes highly recommended by me. My seal of approval is on the cover of the latest printing.) But yeah...that book was so incredibly real, and I wanted to marry the guy. Except, I have a suspicion that he's a little overweight and possibly too old for me, and while we're being real, I may as well admit that I have a huge superficial streak in me, and I could never marry someone who was overweight on the wedding day. Cause I don't think that I would ever be able to give him a chance with dating if he were overweight. And let's just face it, you have to be attracted to the man you marry or your wedding night...well....
But that's not the point. The point is that there're are real people starving for whatever they're starving for, and it bothers me, but I still would rather have my Jamaica picture framed than send the $10 to Samaritan's Purse or something. I do not really beat myself up over this picture as much as it sounds on my blog. I love my picture, and it's not a sin to buy a picture frame.
Anyway...if anyone has an idea for the bottled good times, let me know...
I'm out.
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