God is Good

I had an awesome day today. In part...in large part...due to meeting with a friend to discuss the intricacies of childrearing, relationships, and blessings. We looked at Psalm 37, and I have found a good rival to Matthew 5-7 for my favorite passage. Psalm 37 talks about the benefit of following God, trusting in Him, and remaining faithful in the midst of evil surroundings. It is really a beautiful poem and very encouraging. So, I am reminded that God is good.

Yesterday, I was not having a great day. I was upset over my own personal weaknesses, but today, I was reminded that "Though I may fall, I will not be utterly cast down, for I am in the hands of the Lord." It's hard for me to admit that it's okay to screw up. It's probably even harder for me to admit that the only reason I don't think it's okay is that I'm full of too much pride. But I've come to a point where I realize that my pride is benefitting no one. When I admit my weakness, this is when God can show his strength through me. And God has been showing off lately.

One of the biggest ways, in case no one could tell from previous posts, is just in how things with Billy are transpiring. He is an amazing creation of the deepest Artist. My heart does some insane things when he and I talk--I'm comfortable and peaceful, but somehow stirred with excitement and fireworks. I don't know...it's not like there are really words for love. But God continues to show himself in the depth of connection that we continue to be blessed with.

This week is a good one, I think. I have most of the week off of school, and of course, Thanksgiving will be nice with Billy here. We have a lot to be thankful for.

I'm tired, I guess. So, I shall head to bed.

"And on this road to righteousness, sometimes the climb can be so steep.
I may falter in my steps, but never beyond Your reach."

--Rich Mullins

Up Close and Personal

So, we went to the Jars of Clay concert. I say it that way only because that's how it was advertised. I really bought my ticket so that I could see Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz. He rocked the house. He was completely funny in one of his selections. The other was completely deep.

When he read his works, he read them exactly how I imagined he would from reading his book. He writes in a natural cadence and it's just very appealing. Someday, I want to write how he writes.

We met him after the show, and I have to say, he's very cute...you know, in an overweight beaver-y sort of way. That was mean, I know. I seriously admire the guy like crazy, and it was a privilege to meet him. I wished that we weren't standing in the hallway with other people waiting behind us cause I totally wanted to talk to him about writing. I wanted to know when he started and how, but I'm sure that I know what he'd say anyway cause pretty much everyone starts out the same way. Perserverance is a quality I think I will be developing soon...one way or another.

Down...

I went through the middle of the tornado damage today. It had been closed of for some time, and today was the first time I had reason to enter. I was on my way to the post office, and by the time I got there, I was quiet in my soul. Unbelievable is the only way to describe it. It is hard to write about, and undoubtedly, harder to live in. I have the feeling that I had when 9/11 happened and when I watched The Passion of the Christ. My life is full of blessing, and can I really see anything as an inconvenience again? As I go on buying lamps and mattresses and making plans for fun, some people have no choice but to start over. And some people have no place to start from. I don't know. Words can't capture the grief that entered my heart today. Tears alone can capture that, but as always, they are no where to be found.

I wrote a poem, and you can click here to see it.

Wicked New Store...check it.

I found this most rawkin new store. They have seriously the raddest clothes ever, and like super cute models in their catalogs. Like I guess it's a small company based out of Saginaw of all places (for those unaware...that's where Billy's from), so like you should all support them cause they're local to my boi.

Click HERE for their catalog. The link's kinda finicky, but trust me...it's worth it!

Mission: Almost Accomplished

For everyone who was tired of hearing about my fence...
I officially finished the inside today. Now I just have the outside corner to do.

And I still haven't finished organizing my closet.

But Billy and I have picked out a lovely yellow gold faucet for our first kitchen together...for whatever that's worth.

Sunrises and Flames

I love newness, which perhaps is why I get bored so easily. When something can capture my mind, though, boredom never seems to call.

Billy and I tried to watch a sunrise this weekend. We woke early, while it was still dark. It was also still very cold. Turning onto Ojibway, we found a dock, then sat huddled in our coats that suddenly weren't warm enough. The sunrise never really appeared. We realized after a time that the sky had never shown its angelfire for us to worship over. But the morning came, as it always does, and soon the sky was bright, though overcast.

Our hands were freezing as we got back in his car. And the coffee felt good going down. Our bodies needed heat...some outside source to alter us. Our hearts, though, were warmed already through the growing flames of love.

The Olsen twins...

...or triplets???

My Little Apple Dumpling

The Newest Countdown

One weekend, 2 days of classes, 1 Bible study = total of 6 days.

"I'm always countin down, cuz there ain't no easier way.
Trust me, you know that I tried
And if I said it's easy, then you know I told a lie
I'm gonna be alright;
I'm gonna be just fine."

Mystic Theurge 44% Combativeness, 10% Sneakiness, 58% Intellect, 69% Spirituality

Brilliant and spiritual! You are a Mystic Theurge! Score! You have a prestige class. A prestige class can only be taken after you've fulfilled certain requirements. This may mean that you're an exceptionally talented person, but it probably doesn't. The Mystic Theurge is a combination of a cleric and a mage. They can cast both arcane and divine spells, and are good at both, making them pretty terrifying on the battlefield. They have more raw spellpower than just about any other class. You're both intelligent and faithful, but not violent or deceitful. I guess that makes you a pretty good person.

The Sands of Time

Time continually passes, so why do my days seem to last forever? I miss Billy incredibly right now.

"Down the middle drops one more grain of sand." --Jack Johnson.

I have just a week's worth of sand left until my hour glass can't take any more.

Hoy estaba un dia bueno!

Man! I need more days like today. I don't even know that I can explain how cool it was. We just chilled and stuff, but I also got stuff done. And things were just relaxed, until around 4:30, which is my normal freak out time. But then, I remembered that I forgot to take my stress pill as well as my clear-my-head-of-disorganized-mess pill this morning. I took those and made myself smile at Eve's dinner antics. Finally, they got to me. But it was okay.

We had so much fun. Eve drew that crazy elephant picture today. I was happy cause I knew what it was as soon as I looked at it, even before she was finished with it. I always feel so bad when I say something like, "Oh, is it a butterfly?" and she's all like, "No, it's a rhinoceros." So, usually I just say, "That's so cool. You did a really good job. What is it?" I'm not sure that's much more effective in not crashing her self-esteem, but I'm not sure how else to approach it.

While tucking her in, I was informed that she "agreed with Blake" that they could get married when they're grown-ups, which apparently means 21. She didn't quite know WHY she agreed with him on that. We had a talk about that, obviously. That was hard. How do you teach your 5 year old how awesome a good marriage should be and help her to understand the principle of being worth something without squashing childish play? So, it was light hearted, but I told her that they'd need to wait till they're older to be boyfriend and girlfriend. She was super cute about the whole thing.

Eve's latest Picasso impression.

Classic Evansville

If anyone should want to come visit me, be sure that you ask me to take you to the free market on Stratford Road. Yeah...this is a neighborhood that I drive though on my way to work, and today was the best. Outside of one house, there was a console TV being given away. Three houses down and across the street sat a free toilet. I'm loving this town.

Sunday

So, this was a good Sunday.

Worship was good, and Pastor David gave my favorite comment: "God is not an American. He's not even a Westerner." I can't quite recall how that fit into Eph. 1, but I'm glad that it did. Cause I wish Americans would remember that sometimes.

After church, we went to my parents' house, and I found out that my mom had tickets to the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy concert. It was sweet. For the first hour, the Philharmonic orchestra played. It was good, but I was eager for BBVD to come out. Obviously, the second half of the concert rocked. I was just wishing that I'd had a swing partner cause they told people that the ushers wouldn't stop them from dancing in the aisles.

Eve's Birthday. Blowing out candles is apparently harder than I remembered. Punk Rawk cake by Sarah. Message to my man by Christina.

super

What Ought To Be Typical

Soccer rawks. Weeds and spiderwebs do not.

Saturday freedom is the bomb. Saturday boredom blows me to bits.

It's tempting for me to be downcast. But this is nothing that intentional time with Eve-Marie can't fix, apparently. She totally rawks. And she's an awesome soccer player, too. I'm pretty proud of her cause she really understands the concept of teamwork in a sport. Well, at least to the extent that the 2 of us can be a team (our team name, by the way, is "The Invisible Ghosts"). So, she all knows it's important to pass the ball and receive passes. When we played on opposing teams (and that that point, her team was "The Turtles"), she actually stopped a few of my half-serious attempts to score a goal against her. She's rad.

So, it's 12:25. I have nothing on my schedule today but cleaning out that closet. Errr....I just don't want to start! But I have to, so...so long.