Conversation in the Car

I groan as we drive by some people doing yardwork.

Eve (looking out the window)says in shocked curiosity: What is that woman wearing while she sweeps.

Me (unhappy to report the news): A bathing suit.

Eve: Oh my gosh! Why is she wearing THAT?

Me: Good question.

Seriously, folks...who ever thought it was a good idea to wear your bathing suit to do yard work in your front yard when you live on the main thoroughfare of a neighborhood? Seriously... especially when your leg fat hangs out of it. I have KIDS IN THE CAR, for pete's sake!

Beat That

Indie Personality Test Results

60% Indie Scoring highly suggests you are likely to be very liberal, independent minded, self identify as an outsider, shun materialism and popular culture, and have an aversion to organized religion. While high scorers are more intellectual than average, they are probably more artistically astute than intellectually avante guard (i.e. they are more likely to know of new interesting new bands/artists/writers than the best way to extract energy from a hydrogen atom). Low scorers, will generally tend towards the opposite of the above. They will tend to be more materialistic, conservative, corporate friendly, social and are more likely to be religious.

How indie are you?

How To...

I think randomness is one of the best things ever invented, and on that note, I give you this randomness. Be sure to click on "random article" for the full effect.

Eating for Less than Two

I'm happy to report that Ashlyn is now among the solid food eaters. This is super good news because in theory it will fill her up more than the breast milk does. The last few weeks she's been pretty fussy, and I just came to the genius conclusion last night that she is probably ready for solids. I thought I would wait until after Amanda's wedding to start these, as it could be more difficult to do this while out of town in the first week of starting it, but today, I just decided I had to do it, and it was quite a success. Rice cereal is a big hit here at the Chia house.

Don't Take My Cloak on a Winter Day

So, today, my mood is.... eh.

Nothing's particularly wrong. (Although frustration abounds in the whiny baby arena. I don't care what Mr. Doctor says...we're starting solids, and that's that!) But I'm in a little bit of a mood.

I was reading in Proverbs the other day, and I came across a verse that I treasure. 25:20 says, "Like one who takes away a cloak on a cold day...is the man who sings songs to a heavy heart."

I concur.

You ever come across those people who won't let anyone else be in a somber mood? (Or maybe you are one of those people...and if so STOP IT!) It's frustrating. It's like...here I am, unhappy about whatever I'm unhappy about. And instead of weeping with me, they insist on telling me to cheer up, to realize that everything's fine.

This isn't what the Bible says to do. The Bible doesn't say to whip out Romans 8:28 at the first sign of sorrow. The Bible tells us to bear each other's burdens, not to negate them. I have to say that everyone knocks Job's friends, but I have to say that they offered Job more than a lot of people I know have offered to people who are mourning.

Look at what the account says they did:
Job 2:11-13 (New International Version)

Job's Three Friends

11 When Job's three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. 12 When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. 13 Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

They didn't tell him that everything would work out and that he needed to buck up and get right back into life. They realized that there was sorrow, and they let him have sorrow. They didn't have to make the situation happier so that they could feel comfortable. They sat is silence and mourned along with Job.

So, my questions to you are these: Why are people (and not just Christians) so uncomfortable with sadness? Why are they insistent that we pretend everything's always fine?

Going Green week one

So, I'm not really sure how I got sucked into all this energy saving stuff. I think it was someone's blog from a forum on homeschooling that lead me to various websites on energy conservation. That and the fact that our Vectren bill was obnoxious this month. So, anyway, I read this blog called Casaubon's Book, and she has a nice 52-week plan for less energy consumption. Her goal is 90% reduction (yeah, right...good luck, lady), but I figure that anything is good. Saving energy saves money after all, and if we could even cut back by 20% then we'd be doing well.

So, one of her suggestions is to stay home for one day every week. I didn't quite accomplish that thanks to lamer kids' events at the library (needless to say, we won't be missing our goal for those this week). But I was able to limit my trips into Evansville to just two days. I went to church on Sunday and saw an incredible Jesus painter there. (check out Billy's interview with him.) And earlier in the week, I had an appointment that I really couldn't miss. But when it was all said and done, I only drove a whopping 130 miles, which is less than the national average of 230. So, that's a success.

Another suggestion is to grow food yourself. I haven't done that yet, but I did try to buy locally. This was so not so successful, as Engelbrecht's does not actually sell local food. I went there, hoping to really support local community and to get some un-shipped produce, but alas...the only local stuff was some cabbage, green beans, and zucchini. I bought a little bit of that stuff, and made a yummy chicken/zucchini alfredo, which I have tons of and will be eating for the next several days.

I've been trying to conserve energy around the house, too. I'm sure Billy thinks I'm a loon by now, with my turning off lights and turning up the temperature and whatnot. I've even started to reach under our little entertainment center to turn off the power strip to make sure that we don't get the phantom loads charged to our account or our karma. (That karma part was a joke, guys. Lighten up. Yes, I do believe in the grace of God.)

So, anyway...we'll see where that all makes a difference in our next bill.

The whole energy conservation thing, though, is really just a way to get myself into my dreams, I think. It feels a little more meaningful to live a life where you care about things like turning off lights to save the earth and money. And where you are forced to find things to do at home instead of driving off without thinking about the gas or pollution. And really, when I can get some time plant some veggies, then I'll be really happy.

More to come on the revolution....

Budding Artist

Photo by Eve-Marie Chia

Holey Jeans

I was folding laundry today and noticed once again that every pair of jeans that Eve-Marie has has holes in them. I think it makes me proud, actually. I mean, sure, it's annoying that really the pants makers are cheap and the quality of the product is low. It's unfortunate that this particular pair of jeans that I was folding was a very nice looking pair that had been great for church and other places that a put-together casual attire was appropriate. But ultimately, I thought it was a great commentary on childhood in the summer--the carefree days of playing outside all day, sweating to no end, and falling down.

I took Eve-Marie over to a friend's house recently and the other little girls who lived there were big into climbing the tree outside the kitchen window. As Kara and I sat talking about marriage, the Bible, and homeschooling, the little kiddos pretended to be immigrants from Ireland and England.

In the midst of their game, the tree was climbed, sometimes too high for my own tastes, but it sparked some relief in me to see Eve-Marie right up there with the professionals who climbed it on a daily basis.

See, Eve doesn't often want to try anything hard. Gosh, that apple didn't fall far, huh? I know that this is a quality she inherited from me...one of the few things. Seriously, of all the things that she inherited from the other side of her biological family, did this weakness have to be the thing she got from me? So to see her do something so difficult and foreign is a pleasure, even if I do have to buy her new pants more often.

The Way Things Should Be

So, don't excommunicate me for turning green on you, but I actually started subscribing to treehugger's feed, and while a lot of their stuff is WAY too out there for me, I found this posting on Christian environmentalists to be pretty cool (Be sure to follow the link through to the Christianity Today article). Billy and I went to a marriage class recently, and the guy teaching it used his platform to insist that Christians should be leading the way with environmental protection.

Typically, environmentalists are painted by Christians to be nature-worshiping heathens. They care about the earth because they are scared of death and they grasp so tightly to this huge rock because it's all they think we have. Well, no, it's not all we have, but shouldn't we take care of it anyway? Perhaps we can't believe in both Revelation and the depletion of our resources, but does that mean that we should trash it with our obscene SUV emissions? Or worse yet, does that mean that we need to alienate ourselves from yet another segment of the population?

Think about this quote from the post and the Christianity Today article: "I grew up thinking: 'environment, liberal, bad.' "

First of all, is that really how Christians should view the earth? Shouldn't we be thinking, "Environment, Gift of God, Respect it"?

But worse, to me, are the implications of the relationship fracture that this quote points to. How many Christians think this way? And how many "bad environmental liberals" think something similar? Something like, "Christian, selfish, bad." Does God want us to look like the rest of the world driving SUVs and consuming, consuming, consuming; or does He want us to be a good example, being healthy stewards of both our money AND our resources?

So, anyway, I'm not saying that we have to fall in the spectrum of Sheryl Crow and other hypocrite liberals, but I do think that the real, everyday environmentalists, like this green blogger, are often doing a better job at being a peculiar people than we are.

Officially Sold Out

Alright....I can't resist it anymore. My darn kids are too cute and I just want all the world to see, so I've sold out and started a You Tube account. Here's my first video.

Getting Buff

Oh, my freakin gosh! My right bicep hurts so bad. I started to try carrying Ashlyn on my left arm today cause my right arm gets all the exercise. And it's getting tired. But the cool part is that very soon, I'll be the girl version of this:



SEXY!!!!

Giving Up

On the other hand (see post entitled "Letting Go"), it feels great to come home from a walk without a dog and to not see said dog being chained up in the backyard ignored.

Letting Go

So...wow. Here I am. I left my house about 1/2 an hour ago with two little girls in tow. I returned missing one. We took a lengthy stroll around the neighborhood, since that's the only fresh air or exercise I ever get (note to self: go get dirty in the garden tomorrow). As we reached the home stretch, a group of kids were assembled in the backyard of the corner house. They were racing, and laughing, and arguing over the winners. It was childhood in all its glory. And Eve-Marie just watched with longing. In a step of faith, I asked if she wanted to stay and play. After introducing myself to the resident parent of the home, I walked home in worry, looking forward to the end of the half hour that I told her she could stay. So, I wait. Only 10 minutes has gone by. I'm sure this will be the longest 1/2 hour of my life...as I wait until I get to retrieve my little one and see with my own eyes that she can, in fact, withstand time away from me with other little kids down the street where I can't supervise. Or a better analysis would be that I can see with my own eyes that I can withstand that time. Someday, I'm sure, I'll send her out to play and be relieved to have some time of peace in the home. But for now...it's only a source of nerves. And I anxiously await 7:15.

My Main Squeeze

Billy Chia dot com is back up and running. Add his blog to your subscriptions cause this man's got some good stuff to say.

Why I Want Hybrid

Now, if you know me, which I think everyone who reads this does...cause I'm pretty sure that's only like 3 people...(Thanks to my faithful friends.), then you know that when I drive down the aisle of a parking lot, I pretty much wanna puke when I see the over-priced, waste of space vehicles that take up more spaces than they really warrant.

But yesterday, I saw a commercial that made me want to spend ungodly amounts of money of a vehicle. (Actually, they start at just $23,000. Just $23,000.) Check it out below.



There's a longer version on Saturn's homepage. It adds to the "Rethink Bling" that I love with a great "Rethink Beauty" segment. Check it out. Then go buy a hybrid.

Nauseated

Have you ever had this I'm-so-tired-I-feel-like-puking feeling before? The headache accompanies it, and the last thing you really want to do is type a blog post, but alas... when you can't actually enter into the sleep that you need, what else is there to do at 3:15?

It only makes it worse to hear my beloved breathing deeply.

I really hate my house sometimes. It used to be a sanctuary. Now it is a claustrophobia-inducing cage. There's nowhere I can go to get away, and to be alone.

I've felt a lot of anxiety lately. I'm not sure that's the right word, but I don't know that there's another one to describe it. There's this tension in my chest with all the negativity attached. There's a worry about what it really takes to get to heaven. And what it really means to trust in Christ's blood.

And there's a pain when I want to go watch Eve sleep because it's the only time I'll get to be with her alone. And it hurts more when he doesn't understand that.

And if anyone thinks that love is suppossed to feel wonderful, they need to think again. I wish right now that I had believed Paul.

Sorry the all the depressing thoughts. I wish I could sit down and write with some hope. All I see before me is strife and fear and lonliness. But on one hopeful note, my friend Kara told me that once the baby stage is over, I'll remember how to live again.

Cycle of Boredom

So, there's all kinds of stuff I should be doing...unloading the dishwasher, ironing shirts, folding clothes, caring about life...

But, alas...I have no energy for any of it. In truth, I'd actually LOVE to be doing any of it. But my sleep is all screwed up lately. I'm so tired from being up in the middle of the night for 3 1/2 hours, and then of course, having to wake up with the kids this morning. Ashlyn's doing really well with sleeping, but my sleep cycle is off, and that's killing me.

So, I'm sitting here bored, but unable to really do much else.

Sleepless

I hate nights like this. It's 2:30, and I've been awake for well over an hour. The girls were tucked away by 8:30, and I was feeling worn down. So, I brought the dog in and headed off to my own little dreamland. But by 1:00, I was awake. So, here I sit waiting for morning to come, dreading the daytime...knowing that I'll be tired.

I'm not sure what it is...I guess just having those 5 hours of sleep gave me enough rest to make it hard to get any more. I mean, there's nothing on my mind that's keeping me awake. At least, not that I know of, but I figured I'd sit down here and write, and maybe something will surface.

Last night was pretty cool. I went to church with my parents for something to do. I know that's a bad reason to go to church, but sometimes on Saturdays I do that. Billy works and it gets lonely staying at home all day and night. So, I change up the scenery a bit and head out to CFC. But last night, as I dropped Eve off at Sunday school, I found out that there was no one in the prayer room, so I headed over there instead of into the service. I think I'll do that more often.

I was on a forum a couple weeks ago where we were talking about fat Christians. That's not what I want to be. So, it felt right and good to not go into the service, but to go and pray. It felt good and right to serve. It mainly felt good and right to talk to God again.

It's been a while since I actually had a prayer time. I'll say a few lines here and there throughout the day, and of course, I pray with Eve at bedtime. Sometimes, Billy prays with us before he goes to work. But those times are short, and they aren't the communion with God that I need on my own.

I used to have this insane prayer life...like I would wake up early and have coffee and God for breakfast. I had to set a timer so that I could actually start getting ready for work and make it out the door on time. I would lose track, and all of a sudden the hour was over. Somewhere in the last year, that stopped. I don't know what it was really... the sudden busyness of being married...the naseau of pregnancy making it hard to concentrate...the lack of God at the church I used to attend... I don't know. But somewhere along the line, I can remember struggling to get out a prayer and then eventually just eliminating that sacred time from my day. It wasn't a conscious thing. I mean, I didn't just decide I wasn't going to pray anymore. There was just some kind of distance and I just wasn't feeling it. And the less I prayed, the less I felt it.

So, I don't know. It feels good to have that desire back tonight, and I hope that it sticks around. I had a sneaking suspicion that if I would just do something to serve God and his people that I would have a desire for more. So, yeah...now I have a desire to commune with him again. I don't know the practical application of that. How do you find a solid length of time with a 2-month-old and a homeschooled kindergartener? I don't know. But I know that I want to. And I know that Saturday nights will hold something more than me soaking up all the feeding I can get. They'll be a release of that, and I'll pour out for once. I know that's the right thing for me to do. And I'm eager to do it again.

This is Who I Am

What Famous Leader Are You?
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Just for Jenn

Things are good. I'm getting into a bit of a routine for now. That's all subject to change based on the whims of my baby.

Let's see... the anniversary was amazing. It think it was a really good exercise in coming together for me and Billy. We had some good talking and some nice heart connecting. Of course, there was also the top of the cake and some nice wine. Our room had a hot tub, and we definitely took advantage of that. And then, no anniversary is complete without watching The Apprentice.

So...I don't really know what else to say.....

I'm not in the mood to blog right now...kinda in the middle of school with Eve, so that makes it hard.

Gotta go!